Human League: don’t you want … to win at West Brom, Newcastle and here?

* See Amazon bargain below in footnote

Only winning at West Brom tomorrow and St James’ Park a week and a day later could be sexier than the “girl bits”, if that is not too rude a way of putting it, in Don’t You Want Me?.

You’ll have gathered I have nothing much to say today about football.

So why not run another win-a-mug competition? If a non-Sunderland supporter wins, the design will be adapted accordingly.

What is your karaoke song and why?

Mine is indeed the Human League’s Don’t You Want Me?. In fact, it may be my only one. I did try something of Dylan once but found it too high to sing along to, and me too incompetent to pitch it lower.

Human League was Phil Oakey and the two young women he “discovered” – Wikipedia quotation marks but I do recall one of those idiotic tabloid furores at the time – in the Crazy Daisy Nightclub in Sheffield: Joanne Catherall and Susan Ann Sulley. Three decades later, Joanne is still there.

I liked Human League anyway but the Joanne/Susan parts on that smash single were superb. The trick when doing it at karaoke is to get one girl or two up to take their places (or did just one of them sing, the other just there to look pretty?).

Anyone who attended folk clubs in Bishop Auckland, Darlington and beyond in days gone by will attest to my vocal limitations. Even so, people have been known to enjoy my Don’t You Want Me?

I have dragged up colleagues, daughters, friends and strangers to stand in for Joanne and/or Susan. In Le Lavandou, France, a DJ called Rudy would call out the song title the moment I walked into the bar, even after many months without a visit. Once, when no one would volunteer or be volunteered to provide the girl bits, Rudy insisted on doing them himself.



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There’s my embarrassing karaoke story. What’s yours?

Come up with a good story and I will send a Martin O’Neill “team of all Talents” mug (see below). M Salut’s decision is final.

Oh, and why now? Because the band’s press people wrote telling me of a tour. Do these bands never, er, disband? Bobby Vee and Del Shannon at New Shildon workingmen’s club were bad enough examples of the “won’t let go” syndrome. It’ll be Brinsley Schwarz and Brenda Lee next.

Click here for the Martin O’Neill ‘Team of all Talents’ mug: £9.50, post-free for UK buyers, from the Salut! Sunderland Shop

Here are the dates:

November

Fri 23rd BRIGHTON – Dome

Sat 24th BOURNEMOUTH – BIC

Sun 25TH CAMBRIDGE – Corn Exchange

Mon 26th LONDON – Royal Albert Hall

Wed 28TH BRISTOL – Colston Hall

Fri 30TH NOTTINGHAM – Royal Concert Hall

December

Sat 1ST HALIFAX – Victoria Theatre

Sun 2ND WOLVERHAMPTON – Civic Hall

Tue 4th SHEFFIELD – City Hall

Wed 5th GLASGOW – o2 Academy

Fri 7th NEWCASTLE – City Hall

Sat 8th MANCHESTER – Apollo

Sun 9th LINCOLN – Engine Shed

Mon 10th HATFIELD – The Forum

Box Office for all shows: 08454 134444 / www.alt-tickets.co.uk/alttickets/home_the_human_league

* See Amazon bargain below in footnote

* Greatest hits CD was under £4 last time I looked at Amazon. Buy it here after clicking anywhere in this paragraph.

Monsieur Salut
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5 thoughts on “Human League: don’t you want … to win at West Brom, Newcastle and here?”

  1. Two favourites’ Respect’, Aretha Franklin and ‘Islands in the Stream’, Dolly Parton/Kenny Rogers. I dont have any stories that I can remember, but have to be pretty drunk to do it so …..

  2. The only time I’ve done karaoke was in Hong Kong. You got your own private room and there were about 6 of us in there. Although the locals’ English was excellent, it did crack me up when they started on the Simon and Garfunkle number – “Hello Dennis, my old friend”. Can’t remember what I sang though I’m sure we managed the full version of American Pie

  3. I hate Karaoke and have only had the mosfortune of doing it once (under protest),was at a football do in South Shields,as usual it was half Newcastle and half Sunderland fans….only one I thought appropriate……. The Monkees “Daydream Believer”,which I dedicated to my Black and White “friends”…changing the odd word here and there.

  4. My Karaoke tale goes from Iceland to Old Trafford and the song concerned is Tom Jones’ It’s Not Unusual.
    A fair few years ago I was on a business trip to Iceland and at the end of a day touring the island we all attended a black tie dinner where the entertainment was the band which had represented Iceland in that year’s eurovision song contest. Qiite frankly the female lead singer was stunning and I mentioned to our host that i was a bit oif a frustrated singer. She immediately thought it would be great if I got up with the band in front of 450 drunk insurance brokers. Thinking on my feet I mentioned It’s Not Unusual thinking that they may not know it and if they did I could remember the words – unfortunately they said they had the music and the keyboard player headed off to the car to get it. I then belt out a version with the stunning blonde they then demand an encore which is duly delivered and naturally I think that when the band finishes its set I can chat with the singer, dreaming of a night that will never end in the land of 24/7 daylight. However it turns out that apart from being a pop star this girl is also a leading campaigner for lesbian rights in Iceland!!! Crestfallen I think nothing of it until the following year when I am at our league game verses Manchester United at Old Trafford to be confronted by another fan who screams – It’s you that Tom Jones bloke in Iceland.
    It wasn’t the sort of screaming reaction I was hoping for but I suppose that’s not unusual!!!!

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