Dying Magpie caption competition brings parting sorrow and winning joy

Salut! Sunderland is pleased that Titus Bramble has been cleared of sexual assault. He was utterly wrong to be out on the toot after the debacle at Carrow Road but was punished by the club for that and it is right that we should record today’s Not Guilty verdicts in passing. However, Monsieur Salut – having already seen tweets that could easily get the tweeters into bother – will be extremely cautious in deciding whether to permit readers’ comments …


And, moving on sharply,
there are things that bond football supporters no matter who they follow. I am not talking so much about the 90 million people in Europe or 659m wordwide reported this week to consider themselves Manchester United fans, more those who have some idea of the geography of where their teams play and actually get to some matches.

One of those things is an ability to laugh at a good joke. Provided it’s not aimed at their own club.

And the last bit is why I chose to make it unlikely Newcastle supporters would flock here in response to the little competition inviting captions to go with the above photo. Putting Newcastle in the headline would have had that effect and I would have spent a sizeable portion of my subsequent life filtering out abuse and nonsense masquerading as replies.

Fair enough, Sunderland supporters may also be selective in their appreciation of humour. But life is just too short. And here are the offerings the comp attracted:

* Poor thing knew he couldn’t stay that high for long – L’oiseau

* A shirt to die for! – Jake

* We both may be in the gutter but I will recover! – Phil Johnson

* Is this low enough sir? – Phil Johnson’s second entry

* You may think you have beaten me – BUT your tackle is up for grabs! – Phil again, this time from a Mag viewpoint

* Someone didn’t eat all the pies – John Mac

* Mmm,a first-class Chiek Tiote impression – Ken G

* Ref! Penalty!! – Bill Taylor

* The projected future of The Mags through image; Cisse and Cabaye are sold and they come crashing back down to earth! _ Goldy

* I had to fight without spurs – Geoff Bethell

* I f***ing told you not to call me a Mackem again – Mark H (as from South Shields)

* Sing when you’re winging
You only sing when you’re winging
– A N Other

* The North-East’s top two go looking for Joey Barton – John Mac again

* This block paving is not as soft as I thought it was – Eric

* Six weeks after dropping points at Man City and the lads are still spitting feathers – John Mac again

* After soaring high through last season magpies hit a problem with a bit of unexpected fallout – Vince Richardson

* Cheeky magpie got more than he bargained for when asking passing mademoiselle for a little strip – Plan B

* Magpie dies of shock after seeing Stan Cummins’s shirt and realising he really was THAT small – Jake again

* FTM – CSB

* Start of the 2013 Season and the Magpies fail to hit the ground running, but they hit the ground – CSB


So, multiple entries,
some good ones, some not so good.

Jake and Bill Taylor were among those that brought a smile to Monsieur Salut’s face. So did one or two others. In the end, I went with CSB’s first shot, FTM, once he’d explained it as ”flatten the magpies”. I draw a veil over his comment ”it could work equally just being the usual insult”.

And I will be in touch with him about his prize. It’ll be either tickets to see Wayne Roony’s first game for PSG should the reports of a €150m fee+pay deal have the least basis in fact. Or a Salut! Sunderland mug. M Salut’s thinking is so far leaning towards the mug.



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Monsieur Salut, by Matt
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