Mike Ashley’s Newcastle dream team – and the real reason Hughton had to go

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See also: Hughton sacked as Newcastle take leave of their senses

At last it can be revealed: forget the speculation elsewhere.

This is why Mike Ashley decided the best way of rewarding Chris Hughton for all his fine work was to sack him:

He ruled that Hughton was guilty of gross industrial misconduct for being a London-born failure who steadfastly refused to drink Newcy Brown, speak with a North-east accent or refer to Newcastle as “the Geordie Nation” in interviews.

And we can also reveal that the new managerial team, assuming Ashley gets his way, will be “a joint appointment of Alan Shearer, Kevin Keegan, the ghost of Jackie Milburn and Jimmy Nail”.

Or so it says at the football spoof site The Gaffer. Read their take on the mixture of comedy and shameful behaviour at St James’ Park by visiting this link.

Monsieur Salut

32 thoughts on “Mike Ashley’s Newcastle dream team – and the real reason Hughton had to go”

  1. Correction to the above. I should have said neither Hughton nor Sir Bobby deserved the treatment the club dished out, as of course Ashley wasn’t in charge when SBR got the boot.

    I think it was Freddy Shepherd. Now it’s nearly Christmas, but I still find it hard to put the words Shepherd and wise man together! 🙂

  2. Bear in mind grafter this is a Sunderland website not a N***a*** one. Most of the posters on here are Sunderland fans but we can all see what a mess Ashley is making of our rivals’ club. Hughton and Sir Bobby are/were decent blokes and neither deserved the treatment Ashley dished out. What’s more most Mags agree with us on that point at least. We are happy with the Short/Quinn combination who look as if they are taking OUR club in the right direction. We’ll put up with the Mags gloating when they turn us over but we’ll do the same when we beat them next time.

    We shall also gloat if Pardew turns out to be the disaster most of us think he’ll be and we’ll laugh at the shambles that the Barcode’s owner has created but deep down we can empathise and are glad its them and not us.

    As for the Geordie thing. There are Geordies who support Sunderland but Geordies are born on Tyneside especially N’cassel. Mackems come from Sunderland. The accents are completely different. Many Sunderland fans like me come from the old County of Durham which had the Tyne as its northern boundary and the Tees at the southern end. People from Chester-le-Street and Langley Park, Houghton, Murton etc. are definitely not Geordies. It would be like calling a Manc lad a Scouser.

    As for Throckley, that’s over the river in Northumberland. They might call themselves Geordies, but those of us from the old Durham pit villages would never describe ourselves as such.

    Am off for a pease puddin stotty now after a day spent earning an honest crust. Oh and I lived in Poulton le Fylde for a year!

  3. ha ha superb malc i like it. i live in preston lancs, so i know how to talk shit myself! i’m only winding people up. shit what happened to hughton but the only way you’ll rid yourself of ashley is for people to stop going to watch newcastle. that won’t happen because your all daft as a brush lol

    hey malc i used to be seeing a girl who was from throckley, a geordie or not?

    kind regards and merry crimbo to all in the north east, the grafter x.

  4. There’s nothing like a reasoned argument is there Grafter! And yes I’m proud of my roots. Got to go now – the whippet needs feeding and my pigeons need a fly. Oh and I’ll talk to the leeks as shit makes them grow canny.

    Have a nice day!

  5. malcom the only qualification you need to be a geordie is to be able to talk absolute shit, you are a geordie trough and through! i bet your even proud.

  6. Oh and I forgot to say – Bryan Robson comes from Chester-le-Street so he’s not a Geordie either. And I have been working since that time I signed on in 1975!

  7. Grafter – how do you know there’s a post on this site every five minutes? Do you look at it every five minutes?

    I went to school in Houghton. Hughton played for Spurs. Oh and I only signed on when I left FTE in 1975.

    And Sir Bob in fact wasn’t a Geordie, coming as he did from the Sacriston/Langley Park area which is County Durham. Perhaps your knowledge of NE geography comes from the old Roger Whittaker song?

  10. there’s a comment posted on this site nearly every 5 minutes, does anybody have a job in the north-east or are you all like houghton on the dole?
    i’ve a good idea why not get bryan robson in charge, he’s a stupid geordie! they’re so thick in newcastle that they’ll think it’s sir bob who’s come back to save em!!

  11. Ya, boo, sucks to you Doug, because I know the people who looked after a young Steve Bruce when he first went to Gillingham and they said he was a Sunderland fan and that he hated Newcastle and he would only eat bacon because it was red and white and he would never bother with humbugs. And of course Pardew is a top manager which is why those giants of the game West Ham, Charlton and Southampton have all sacked him.
    Interesting revelation about Mike Ashley’s Jewish faith. Maybe he should appoint Rabbi Lionel Blue as his Director of Football. Maybe he already has, oi vai.

  13. Shame Hoots got the sack, but he was tactically inept.
    I have watched Pardew over the years and believe me that once the dust and winging settles the Toon will see what a top manager he is!
    My wife went to school with Steve Bruce in Walkergate, knows him well and believe me he was brought up to, and has admitted to secretly hate Sunderland!
    One final note before you all go back at me. Fat Ashley is a YID and has ambition to get on the Spurs board so really doesn’t give a damn what the Geordies say!

  14. To be honest i think that M O’Niell is the right man for the job, and as for Mike Ashley, all i have to say is that he is a joke of a man 🙂

  15. 1. Steve Bruce is not a geordie – he was born in Corbridge. Plastic geordies would do well to find out what a geordie actually is.
    2. Salut is a great independent source of info on SAFC and provides a fresh perspective to most of the rhetoric that gets churned out by the media.
    3. I hope its Pardew.
    4. FTM

  16. Lol syas the club with nile quinn and steve bruce in charge? Such a joke of a team. Your kit looks like an old safeways carry bag too.

  17. Bruce and Stokoe – Geordies who supported the Black and Whites. Perhaps the Mags should try a similar policy. What odds on Phil Brown being offered the poisoned chalice?

  18. My word the unwashed are becoming sensitive. Whenever we have had our periods of suffering they have, without fai,l handed out liberal degrees of scorn or caustic humour and why not, the banter is part of the game.

    Their current problems have however gone on for far too long and I genuinely thought instead of rolling in a series of managers with great fanfares who prove to be as much use as a wet fart in a high wind, in Hughton they had found a solid manager who had genuinely performed miracles to turn a relegated lackluster championship side back into a Premiership club in one season.

    Instead of giving proof of the claim to be the Geordie Nation and sticking together, to target the real source of their pain, they are lashing out as a disjointed rabble, unable to take the wind up’s that they, in the past, have been only too free to hand out.

    In managerial terms the nonsense promulgated by one poster that we have a Geordie manager and also had one in Stokoe made me laugh more than almost anything else. If such signings are successful for us it simply proves how much more astute we are as a club by retaining their services.

    Every club employs the best manager that it can, who is available at a given moment in time. If we perform well under a Geordie manager great, if we take on Geordie players who prove to be better than those our neighbours have, great, that simply proves, at that moment, that the buying skills of our club are better than their own.

    The target of all Newcastle’s problems was, is and will remain “The Clown” otherwise known as Mike Ashley. He is desperate to recoup some of the massive losses he has sustained, as a result of his own incompetence and remains a walking disaster every time he decides to take direct action in anything to do with your club. This runs from being too drunk to attend a meeting with potential Arab buyers causing great insult, to sacking and employing a variety of managers.

    When he was first mooted as a buyer a Smoggie, known on our Hammertime boards as Bill Stroller entered some six months of arguing on the Newcastle Board, prior to and after Ashley’s acquisition became a fact, why the man would be a kiss of death for your club.

    The man was a chancer looking for another quick profit turn round. We were vilified and told we knew nothing, despite my having considerable experience on the financial side and redevelopment of football grounds and Stroller having managed and worked as he still does as an adviser on financial matters and as an organiser of arrangements for those employed in the footballing world.

    Almost everything we forecast came to pass and is still happening. Time and again we have argued that what happens to any of the clubs in the North East affects all the others because the perception of the footballing world about our problems in the area affects adversely our ability to attract top management and players. That in turn affects our personal enjoyment of the game. It is not just about who can pay the most money because that is the same policy which brought the great Newcastle United to its knees. It is in the interests of the area that we all thrive and perform well.

    In Hughton they had the makings of a top class manager and with continued experience his ability to change to meet specific problems was impressive. The boost a 5-1 defeat of us gave to his and his team’s perception nationally was incalculable at a time of low expectations and a triumph in the annals of Newcastle’s history which has been singularly lacking in recent years.

    Bear the approbation with humour and fortitude, because until someone lances your boil the infection of Ashley will continue. His only interest in your club stems from his obsession with his wallet. He has neither the experience nor the wit to improve your lot and will keep changing managers until finally no one will want to work for him or you because what he really wants is out with a codicil that he does not lose any money.

    Pigs might fly.

    His management/ownership approach to date has been that if you continue to throw enough shit against a wall surely some of it will stick, but with no financial backing there is a danger that any new manager joining you will be doing so only out of desperation on his or her part.

  19. Who would want the job and who fits the profile?. Must be a cockney, needs to be overweight ( this was Hughtons downfall he made Ashley look fatter) unemployed and a yes man. Joe Kinnear is probably not available, but what about Butch Wilkins a perfect fit

  20. Amazing, these mags think we want to talk about them at every oppertunity, yet they are posting comments on a SAFC fansite.

    Mr Pot, have you met Mr Kettle??

    i think Hughton has been hard done by, but i suppose they have to make way for their next messiah, Probably Donna Air or someone like that!!

  21. geordie boy – are you the lad behind the bed sheets we see outside Sid James’ whenever your gaffer gets sacked? Hope you don’t spend to mutch (sic) time with the paint pot!

    Seriously – a daft decision to sack Hughton though I notice Sir John Hall has leapt to Ashley’s defence. He gave the game away somewhat by claiming it was a justifiable business decision. As we all know Ashley, Hall etc. aren’t in it to create a successful football club, just one that’ll make them even more dosh.

  25. There seem to be a lot of the Doon Army here today. I suppose they can’t bear to be on their own websites. Still, you’re very welcome, lads. Stick around, you might learn something.

  26. Dont slag the geordies to mutch you have 1 as your manager cant find a mackem to do it. Even stokoe was a geordie and you know more about going doon than us 15 points was it!!!

  28. The King is Dead, long live the King & what do Newcastle, sunderland & middlesbrough fans all have in common. They all talk about the Toon at every opportunity

  29. Mick: I think your comment is misdirected. Wasn’t it meant for The Gaffer? I just passed on the link and offered a brief precis of what it was about. Up to you after that of course …

  30. Wow how funny are you. I just cudnt stop laughing. You should be a stand up comedian with humour that good……………

    wot a sad, sad man you must be to create journalism that poor.
    Pathetic

  31. Salut! Sunderland receives hundreds, often thousands, of visits daily from SAFC and non-SAFC supporters. A few of these visitors leave comments. All – within reason – are welcome but, as an anti-spam precaution. there may be a short delay for moderation if you have not commented previously.

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