Soapbox: still no tremors on Wearside

Soapbox

After the French distractions of the other day, Salut! Sunderland and/or Younes Kaboul’s agent need to eat some humble pie. Assuming, that is, that the news is correct, and we are not gazumped by Villa or Pompey* at the last second. “He wouldn’t join Sunderland in an earthquake” turns out to translate as “how much is Keane offering him, and what’s my commission?”. Pete Sixsmith swears he felt the earth move….

Where were you when the quake hit Wearside?

I was in Edinburgh and got news of the seismic shock via Sky Sports News which flashed up a banner saying that Kaboul had agrred terms* and was expected to sign, if he could find a house that was still standing.

His agent must be feeling about as smart as the general in the Amerian Civil War who dismissed the ability of an enemy sniper by saying: “He couldn’t hit a barn door from….aaaagh” It was a good funeral.

We clearly need recruits after a disappointing performance against Vitoria Setubal where some players made it clear that they will be moving on or will be spending a lot of time in the Hetton Gulag.

Ward, Anderson, Kavanagh,Prica and Chopra did nothing to show that they had a future with the club and I would expect all of them to be away by the end of this transfer window.

Last night I went to an absolute footballing master class a t Murrayfield, where a half paced Barcelona put six goals past a bewildered Hibernian side.

It reminded me of the days when the Harlem Globetrotters would pitch up at the Empire Pool at Wembley and play a bunch of students known as the Kansas City Cattle Botherers or the Washington Museum Keepers.

Barca were brilliant and showed the 24,000 there how football should be played. It went like this;
Make an accurate pass; control the ball first touch; with the second touch either move it on to another team mate ot leave the defender stranded as you go past him.

Lionel Messi was superb, closely followed by Thierry Henry and Yayah Toure. The likes of Xavi and Iniesta weren’t even on the bench as poor old Hibs looked like a pub team in comparison with the Catalan Crushers. If only our players could kill a ball with their first touch – only Richardson and Reid can do it consistently.

My wee Scottish break continues with Peterhead v Montrose and East Stirling v Ayr United. No earthquakes in the Scottish League Challenge Cup.

* before remembering he wouldn’t go to Sunderland in an earthquake, announcing he needed time to think and – surprise, surprise – finding a shabby little south coast port where he can spend the coming season sitting on the bench and dreaming of France or Morocco. Salut! Sunderland is not remotely sorry that he’s not coming, and not remotely sorry that we don’t have to give another moment’s thought to his absurd agent Rudy Raba.

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