Elsewhere, we have made our apologies to mayfly larvae and other forms of pond life feeling insulted at comparison with the Newcastle United ‘fans’ who rampaged through the city centre after their team lost a football game, as their fathers perhaps did before them when Toon suffered reverses. Jake notes that the yobs made it on to the nine o’clock Spanish news. And Pete Sixsmith, while reporting on the Under 21s’ defeat by Blackburn Rovers, worries about the safety of any horse with a Geordie accent should results go badly this coming weekend …