Luke Harvey

Luke’s World Cup: comfort in the discomfort of giants

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Time to concentrate anew on England v Slovenia. OK. England have been rubbish so far. But France have made our rubbish look good (I hate to say it but the obvious reaction to today’s decisive result is frankly “good riddance”), and there have been unconvincing performances from Italy, Germany and – until last night – Spain. Patriotic to the end, Luke Harvey tries his best to keep the faith …

“I can’t believe we didn’t beat such a poor team,” came one comment from around the table. “I know,” I replied, “It almost makes you ashamed to be Algerian, doesn’t it?”

A few forced smiles were raised but the day after the night before was still a bit too early for such jocularity. The conversation was quickly diverted away from football towards something less disheartening.

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Luke’s World Cup: when commentators and pundits fall short

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Where are Kenneth Wolstenholme and George Taylor when you most need them? Luke Harvey spent months looking forward to the World Cup only to find it marred (so far) by indifferent football and (probably for the duration) poor punditry.Of course, Ken and Goerge did the commentary and the punditry without help …


Imagine the scene: George Osborne – Chancellor of the Exchequer and a man whose stiff upper lip is matched by his even stiffer looking hair – is on Question Time about to face a fierce interrogation from the fearsome Jeremy Paxman.

Paxman strikes first, quickly questioning Osborne on the proposed budget cuts and if they truly are feasible. Osborne reclines in his seat, clasps his hands together and with a smirk and a chuckle pronounces: “I don’t really know much about the numbers side of things, to be honest.”

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Luke’s World Cup: no wizards of Oz

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The games have varied between tedious and intriguing, without so far being exactly enthralling. But that statement may depend on which games you’ve seen. I saw hardly any of Germany v Australia whereas Luke Harvey watched it all, and it inspired in him this eulogy to Teutonic efficiency …

The Moses Mabhida Stadium in Durban is quite an impressive structure. Boasting a capacity of 70,000 during its use as a World Cup venue, every seat offers a perfect view to the ongoing match down below.

However, there will have been few better placed spectators during Germany’s 4-0 rout of Australia than the winning team’s goalkeeper, Manuel Neuer.

The German World Cup machine roared to life in indomitable fashion, and 24-year-old Neuer was very much an onlooker for the majority of the match.

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Luke’s World Cup: Group C goalkeeping woes deepen

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Luke Harvey considers an opening weekend in Group C that left Robert Green and Faouzi Chaouchi thankful for each other’s existence, and England drawing consolation from today’s Algeria v Sloveia game producing a result, leaving us joint mid-table instead of joint bottom …

Group C is far from the Group of Death, Group of Goalkeeping Howlers perhaps.

First Rob Green, England’s apparent number one, managed to turn Clint Dempsey’s innocuous looking long range effort into his own net. The gaffe sent the media into a frenzied overdrive as tabloids searched for the wittiest headline to describe the incident.

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The report card: (4) shameful league toppers

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Our series of reports on the season just ended is nearly complete. Luke Harvey, who famously brings down the average age of Salut! Sunderland contributors, edges us towards the climax (Pete Sixsmith’s magisterial pronouncements, due any day soon). Luke ponders the league we did win – for the team with the top flight’s most shocking disciplinary record …

Sunderland beat off competition from Hull City on the final day of the season to secure the most red cards in the season, having already secured the Worst Disciplinary Trophy sometime ago. Going into the last day, Sunderland had accumulated seven red cards to Hull’s six – making for a tense final day.

They came late, but came nonetheless, Michael Turner and Jack Colback – the latter on his debut – were both ordered off to ensure Sunderland were head and shoulders above the rest as the most unruly team in the entire league.

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Sunderland v Fulham: a star is born

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That’s cheating – the headline – because the star of SAFC is whoever, young or old, wins us three points at home to Fulham tomorrow. But Luke Harvey is a new star of Salut! Sunderland. He’s a poor deluded soul on two counts: he supports Sunderland (condemning him to a life of disappointment) and is a journalism student (no money in it unless he becomes Piers Morgan). No matter, he’s agreed to write for us to ease the burden on Pete Sixsmith and the ageing editor. This is Luke’s first offering (he may even add a photo later) …

Fulham bring me a lot of fond memories, not particularly as a Sunderland fan – but as a football fan in general.

They seem to embody everything I believe a football team should be about, a hard working and talented group who are lead by an experienced manager capable of masterminding a victory over any team.

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