Soapbox: Newcastle, West Brom and a wretched weekend

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No one can accuse Salut! Sunderland of descending into mindless tribalism, though they probably will. We lauded, however grudgingly, Chris Hughton’s impressive achievement of last season, rising above the awfulness of the Ashton Factor to turn Newcastle United into runaway lower league champions. This, however, is taking the mick: Andy Carroll and Joey Barton transformed from gruesome thugs into cuddly heroes on a par with Jackie Milburn. Well, maybe not. But Pete Sixsmith‘s text read “Misery complete: Mags win 6-0. Villa resign from Premier in shame.” His original West Brom headline – New tricks desperately needed – stood no chance, no matter how clever. But that’s what Pete’s typically engaging dispatch from the West Midlands is all about …

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The sad demise of a Mag: caption comp

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UPDATE: Thanks for the responses – no shortage of potential winners the competition is now closed (5.45pm UK time June 16). See last comment: winner to be announced soonish ….

Suicidal at the prospects for next season? Bumped into Joey Barton in the Bigg Market? Beaten to death by a musclebound Toon girl gang?

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Tony Blair and Newcastle United: when the truth hurts

If it has begun to seem like Be Nice to Toon Week here. be assured normal service will resume once the volcanic cloud lifts. But as a footnote to the questionnaire Alastair Campbell answered for Salut! Sunderland ahead of today’s game against his beloved Burnley, he commented on a certain urban myth – dear to Mackem hearts – concerning his old boss. Colin Randall reports with heavy heart …

Some stories are true, but you wish they weren’t. Some cry out to be true but are false, even if they leave a postscript – read on – that is entertaining and plausible.

Into the second of those categories slots the belief that Tony Bair, while Prime Minister, talked wistfully in an interview of having sat as a lad in the Gallowgate end at St James’ Park, watching Jackie Milburn play for Newcastle United.

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Georgia’s tale: when Sunderland/Newcastle tribalism loses meaning

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Colin Randall writes: for weeks, Georgia Lewis has been promising the tale of how she became a Sunderland supporter. I’d worked with her in Abu Dhabi without even knowing of this Aussie journalist’s unexepected allegiance. Once I found out, she said it was an emotional story but one she was willing to tell. Yet I’d still somehow counted on something quite jolly. What I was not prepared for was a brave and open account of tragedy, almost impossible to read without sharing Georgia’s own pain and feeling desperately sorry for someone else who met an untimely end. Salut! Sunderland dedicates the posting to the memory of a man we wish we’d known, and thanks Georgia* for telling us about him …

When it comes to muddied oafs, I’ve always been a rugby girl, thanks to a rugby refereeing father.

But my family has always taken an interest in all sorts of sports and I remember as a kid, thinking Nottingham Forest sounded like a cute team to support, complete with the adorable tree badge. And Dad and I used to play a game when that bloke who read the English football results on the radio fired up. We’d try and guess the score while impersonating his dourly sing-song tones.

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Fraternal welcome to Newcastle on rejoining the big boys’ league

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It made only a paragraph in today’s edition of the Var Matin newspaper, and the text was limited to a mention of Nottingham Forest’s draw sending Newcastle United back up. In the North East, Pete Sixsmith could hardly escape the fuss, but this evening finds him in deeply conciliatory spirits …

When I opened this morning’s Guardian Sport and saw the headline “We can take on the might of Europe”, I thought: “Here we go again. They’ve only been promoted for 10 hours and they’ve bloody well started.”

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Alan Shearer: red and white through and through?

sheareronly in a spot of fun offered by the Sunderland Echo, which produced this mock-up image to show how the Mags’ hero might look if he were prepared to wear the SAFC shirt.

He was asked to do it for charity – Sport Relief – and refused point blank. It is not that he’s an especially tight sod who’d never dream of digging into his pockets for a good cause; in fact, he even offered to shower Adrian Chiles, presenter of BBC’s One Show, with cash.

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Kilgallon and – maybe (may)Beye: a decent start

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The rest of the football world is talking morons/idiots/bootlickers – otherwise known as diplomacy, Argentinian style. Maybe Carlos Tevez was pulling punches and really dislikes his unsmiling former teammate Gary Neville. Never mind all that; we’ve finally pulled someone through the opened transfer window …

Anyone who has seen Sunderland’s attempts to hold on to leads or, most recently, avoid double figures knows perfectly well our defence needs steel.

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History lesson: the game that left Toon feeling doon

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During Sunderland’s recent spell of post-Arsenal under-achievement, Newcastle have been recording wins against mighty opposition to stay top of the division that isn’t the Premier. And letting us know about how big a club they are. Time to cheer ourselves up, remind others of their place and – just three days late – celebrate a heartening 101st anniversary. Adapted from an article written by Colin Randall a year ago for The National, Abu Dhabi …

No member of the Toon Army thanked me this time last year for drawing wider attention to the centenary of one of the most momentous league games in English football history.

But then, Newcastle fans would probably feel disinclined to thank me for anything.

All the same, duty obliges me to record that 101 years ago last weekend, having made the short journey to Newcastle, Sunderland did not so much beat the Magpies as pulverise them

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Shack’s law: decency and squalor in football

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Great draws yesterday – for us at Old Trafford and, er, Bristol City at St James’ Park. Stand by for Pete Sixsmith’s verdict on our cruelly denied win over Man Utd. First, there’s some unfinished business for Colin Randallto attend to …

Len Shackleton had the measure of Newcastle United. When it comes the Mags, he said, “I’m not biased; I don’t mind who beats them.”

On that basis, Kevin Keegan will do. Shack’s soul can take mischievous pleasure in Keegan’s £2m victory at the Premier League arbitration panel over Mike Ashley’s ducking-and-diving regime of questionable taste and morality.

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