Soapbox: return from the far north, now wandering to Bolton

Pete Sixsmith is back from Orkney. He is pleased he went, but would lose little sleep if he never went back. Will we all be losing sleep tomorrow night? BE POSITIVE ….

I have returned. I am back at Sixsmith Towers, the several layers of clothing peeled off and the bindings to protect the outer extremities unwound – no madam, not that one!!

It would not be true to say that Orkney is the most exciting of places to visit. There are no trees. There is a lot of wind. The capital, Kirkwall, is as lively as Heighington on a Wednesday night. It’s not a place where the jet set hang out – so The Brucester may well consider it as a place to retire when the curtain falls on his managerial career at The Stadium of Light – May at the latest.

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Bruce: search for a safe haven leads to Orkney

Why has Pete Sixsmith abandoned non-league football, the paqes of Salut! Sunderland, his cat Samson and – just days ahead of Bolton away – the intensive psychological training considered essential for those planning to attend SAFC games?

What are we to read between the lines of a mysterious text message sent from what was meant to be a secret location detached from the British mainland?

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