What FTM is really Short for

An example of ALS's FTM merchandise*
An example of ALS’s FTM merchandise*

In honour of Ellis Short, who has taken to wearing an FTM pin badge he tried to buy at the A Love Supreme shop but ended up being given free, we invited readers to hazard a guess at what the initials might stand for if not Follow the Mackems or, more likely, F*** the Mags.

These were the responses:

Frightfully Tactile, Men (if I may say so) ...
Frightfully Tactile, Men (if I may say so) …
* Salut! Sunderland Frightfully Tactile Men (to illustrate the prehistoric handshake)

* Plan B I think it means Fine the Mercenaries, at least to Paolo

* Joe Kinnear Well F*!#ing hell I bought two dozen of these little bleeders thinking it meant “finish the mags’ which is what I would have done had it not been for me bleedin heart!

* Geordiedoonsooth It could of course stand for F**k The Mackems and he’s a Toon fan really.

* A T Hedley Full-Fill the Mags (excuse my lesdyxia)

* Jeremy Fat t*** Mike

* Eric012 Fire That Manager

* Drummer Fleece The Maggots

* Pete Sixsmith Farewell to Mike? Forgotten the Manager – for JFK.

Sobs (left), with Sixer (in his away strip) on an unhappy awayday at  Molineux
Sobs (left), with Sixer (in his away strip) on an unhappy afternoon at Molineux
* Sobs Favourite Texan Mackem

* Plan B It was a subtle message of Ellis’s feelings (and our) last season – Football Tortures Me!

* Drummer Fading Trophy Memories

* Joe Kinnear Look you lot, it actually means ‘F*!#ing Tata Mate’!

* Cosmopolitan Fashionista It actually means ‘Fashion’s Top Man’ and I expect Paulo to easily out wear Moyes, Arse et al with a stunning season’s long Italian inspired wardrobe to make all SAFC supporters proud! PS: Hope the team does well as well but I’m still undicided about that yellow away strip!

* CSB Arsenal Supporters – First To Moan!

* Goldy [as the alleged row over Ellis Short wearing it] is a non-story: Forgotten Tomorrow Morning

Some good entries there. I liked several enough to consider them potential winners – and take my hat off to Geordiedoonsooth for coming up with an answer no Sunderland site could possibly reward – but, in the end, couldn’t get past my appreciation of Ellis Short’s gesture in wanting to buy the pin badge and, even more, walking into the ALS shop in the first place.

No, the SAFC owner doesn’t win. But Sobs does with his Favourite Texan Mackem. A Salut! Sunderland mug will, in due course and at great cost, be designed and sent to him.

ftm2
* Free ad since Martyn McFadden always lets us use images from his site: ALS merchandise can be found at http://www.alsshop.co.uk/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=2 though I struggled to locate the Ellis Short pin badge

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5 thoughts on “What FTM is really Short for”

  1. It’s all very well this hilarity at the expense of our comical neighbours lads, but we all know that it will be poor horses that suffer in the end.

    • I totally agree with these sentiments and in the spirit of good will propose a collection for all horses, neigh all Equines who have suffered trauma at the hands of football hooligans.

      Please send all donations to:

      Tesco’s Value Homes for old nags (please refrain from sending unwanted family members, just leave them in the casualty department of your local NHS instead).

  2. Congratulations Sobs.

    I just hope M.Salut appreciates that he has just robbed me of me only F*!#ing chance of F*!#ing winning anything this F*!#ing Season!

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