One-word SAFC ratings vs Southampton: hang on there, fat lady

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Rob: ' no longer wishing I was stuck in a desert'
Rob: ‘no longer wishing I was stuck in a desert’

 

John McCormick writes: As I’m doing Rob Hutchison’s post, Radio 5 has cut from the footie to some southern hospital where the heir’s spare has produced a spare heir. Apparently there are some 80 year olds waiting outside for something good to happen. Yeah, I’ve got that T shirt, I’m thinking.

But the reporter goes on and on, trying to build mountains into molehills. Not that it matters to Rob, who not only has something good of his own to report for a change but can also give Radio 5 lessons in brevity:

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Sixer’s Sevens: Sunderland 2 Southampton 1. ‘Massive’ Gomez double to worry Newcastle

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Jake pins Sixer to the wall
Jake pins Sixer to the wall

Monsieur Salut writes: What a difference two key decisions going in Sunderland’s favour can make. After a season of desperately bad calls against us, we were awarded two penalties – the first ‘soft’, according to Pete Sixsmith; the second ‘harsh’, said the BBC – and Jordi Gomez stepped forward to convert both with aplomb to win the game. It was the only result possible to keep Sunderland hopes alive and is one that has John Carver’s wretched Newcastle looking over their shoulders. And bravo Pantilimon: after gifting the equaliser, he pulled off the vital save in the last seconds that kept our survival bid on course. Come back in due course for Sixer’s full account; below you find his seven-word verdict …

Jake hails Gomez from his native land" 'Jordi is Señor Cool'
Jake hails Gomez from his native land” ‘Jordi is Señor Cool’

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Ahead of Southampton, figures that add up so badly for Sunderland

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At least Monsieur Salut wavered between no points and one from the Emirates
At least Monsieur Salut wavered between no points and one from the Emirates

My guesswork is uncomplimentary to Sunderland and our chances of avoiding relegation. Why not carry out the same exercise yourselves and see how you place us and our relegation co-strugglers. I hope – the hope we cannot stand – to be proved alarmist and plain wrong. Here are extracts from my preview of SAFC vs Saints at ESPN (see full article at http://www.espnfc.com/club/sunderland/366/blog/post/2426131/sunderland-premier-league-options-running-out …

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Sixer’s non-league Soapbox: Shildon’s celebrations cancelled by dogged Terriers

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Malcolm Dawson writes….the day started off OK for Pete Sixsmith. He sat and shivered at the Riverside whilst the rain stayed away long enough for Durham to win their second County Championship match against a Sussex side who probably hold out title hopes of their own. He then made his tortuous way up the A1 into Northumberland in the hope of seeing a title winning performance from the other SAFC. It wasn’t to be. A healthy crowd which included most of the Northern League Irregulars turned up to see if The Railwaymen would clinch the title. I’m not sure whose nerves would have suffered more – the Shildon supporters or the Officials and followers of Marske United who could only stand back and watch heart in mouth, knowing any sort of result for Bedlington would see them crowned Champions. It wasn’t a classic game. Shildon had chances but ultimately a sloppy piece of defending and an understandable nervousness in front of goal sent the title across the Tees to North Yorkshire. What follows is Pete’s take on the proceedings with the added bits in italics my own.

With thanks to @mtscally
With thanks to @mtscally

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SAFC vs Southampton Who are You?: ‘it was always an 8-0 game’

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Jake: '8-0 to us?'
Jake: ‘8-0 to us?’

You’d expect any Southampton supporter to be pretty cocky going into this weekend’s game at the Stadium of Light, with only woefully misfiring relegation fodder standing in the way of another good result for slick southerners. Southampton’s season has defied all logic, after the turmoil of last summer, and shocked the supposed Premier League elite. So perhaps we should respect Paul Stewart*, a Saints nut and pal from Paris days and emphatically not the Paul Stewart who missed a sitter for SAFC when we had to win at Wimbledon on the last game of the 1996-97 season, for exercising a degree of restraint in his short and to-the-point ‘Who are You?’ interview. But for once, I was relieved not to see a scoreline prediction …

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The Sunderland vs Southampton Guess the Score after Hull pile on pressure

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Jake's caption says it all
Jake’s caption says it all


Who approached Tuesday night thinking “we can rely on old Brucie to mess it up and do us a favour?”,Elmo will have the sort of stinker he played for us and Jordan Henderson will lead Liverpool to victory for our sake as well as theirs?

I thought my phone screen was frozen when it kept saying 1-0 every time I looked. Bruce had got his result, Elmo providing the cross from which Dawson scored the winner, and Hendo could do no more than huff and puff with the rest of a misfiring Liverpool side.

So the night ended with Hull a lot closer to safety than us. Heaven knows what Leicester will do to Chelsea tonight to make us even glummer.

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Middlesbrough and others face playoffs but Bournemouth gatecrash Premier – and Howe

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Jeremy Robson
Jeremy Robson: ‘if only we could play you next season’

When AFC Bournemouth swept aside Bolton to win, all bar the shouting, a first season in the Premier, we wondered about asking a supporter of the south coast club to write something. Our own Jeremy Robson has beaten them to it, welcoming the team that plays in AC Milan colours but to a maximum home crowd of 12,000 to a top flight Sunderland may well be departing. As our illustrator Jake put it at Facebook the other night, they ‘play some great stuff, they sing the red flag an’ al’…

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