A Christmas football wishlist. 2 (J-Q): St Niall unbans fans, Keano out

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wish

For the second part of our letter to Santa, we name a few more of the things we’d like to see over the coming months. Come up with the best or funniest alternative wish for any letter – as judged by Salut! Sunderland – and we’ll send a tenner (up to one prize for each of the three parts of the series) ….

J is for Joan’s cafe, named as the venue for a Jedward concert after the nearby Stadium of Light is judged too big considering the likely turnout. Tickets narrowly fail to sell out.

K is for Roy Keane, who leaves Ipswich “by mutual consent” in May as relegation confirmed. When Grant Leadbitter and Carlos Edwards send text messages in commiseration, Keano replies saying: “I refer you both to what I told Dwight Yorke when he sent a similar SMS after I left Sunderland.”

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A Christmas football wishlist. 1 (A-I): Thierry Henry in Gaelic, Darlo in the playoffs

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tree

Is Santa listening? Probably not, but Salut! Sunderland thought it would produce its own list of the presents it wants, the things it wants to happen not just for Christmas but for the coming year. Let’s see how many are granted. This is the first of three instalments. Come up with a better suggestion or two and you might win a prize …

A is for Arsène. The elegantly whingeing Alsacian – (“is that why they’re called Arsenal?” asked the daughter who knows nothing about football) – announces a new deal with Optical Express, suddenly sees things more clearly, apologises for his players’ occasional diving and heaps praise on teams that beat or draw against Arsenal as well as those that lose.

B is for Bruce: Steve wins three manager-of-the-month awards in succession and we’re not only safe but sixth.

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Soapbox: a black and white Christmas carol

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soapbox

What the Dickens is this? Why, nought but a heartwarming tale from the season of goodwill, in which Sir Michael Ashley plays Scroogely, the fans play with large alphabet shapes but still cannot get the hang of spelling the simplest of words and the One Wise Man plays himself. Are you sitting quietly? Then Pete Sixsmith will begin …

Once upon a time – on, of all the good days the year, Christmas Eve – old Scroogely sat in his counting house at sports direct deckchair stripes@stmikes’park.com. He looked up and snarled at Bob Lambias, his poor benighted clerk, who sat in the cold, cheerless office surrounded by Lonsdale track suits and Dunlop trainers.

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The greatest FA cup final shock of all time?

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Stokoe and Sunderland

Just out: Lance Hardy’s carefully researched story of the 1973 cup final when Sunderland threw off underdog status to defeat Don Revie’s mighty Leeds and win the FA Cup. It needs a great leap of faith to think you’ve much chance of getting the book from Amazon before Christmas. But you can get it, by clicking this link, at the knockdown price of just over £11 (instead of £18.99 and it’s even cheaper if you opt for second hand). Colin Randall wallows in nostalgia …


Where were you when Sunderland beat Leeds 1-0 in the FA Cup Final of May 5 1973?

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Soapbox: Manchester horror show – or a corner turned?

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soapbox


About the last thing to be expected from Pete Sixsmith after yesterday’s lamentable defensive display at Man City was the see-it-both-ways equanimity of his own chosen headline. Mark Hughes was sacked for a run markedly better than ours. Pete keeps the faith up to a point. He reckons on seven points from the next three games being pretty much non-negotiable if the slump isn’t to become a crisis. Where have we heard that before? …


The feeling on the coach home from the City of Manchester Stadium last night was certainly the former: a full scale, 3D, Todd AO, Cinemascope, horror show, redolent of Hammer Films in all its gory, bloody detail.

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Soapbox: Maine Road to Hetton

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soapbox

Pete Sixsmith tries his hardest to sound jolly. He’ll be jollier than for some time if Sunderland defy the odds and beat Manchester City tomorrow. It won’t happen if we play like the Reserves did in the first half of their game …

As the snow falls all over County Durham and the eastern side of the country, thoughts turn to a trans Pennine trip in a well appointed coach to an equally well appointed stadium at Eastlands, while memories dwell on flogging over the A62 on a Hall Brothers coach in the 60s to watch a game with snow piled on the side and straw all over the pitch at Maine Road.

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Who are you? We’re Manchester City (and Mark Hughes is still the right man)

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Nearly a year and a half ago, some of us stood at the bar of the London-bound train after watching Sunderland trounced 3-0 by Man City at the Stadium of Light. To make things worse, we were sodden after a ferocious downpour. One or two London-based City fans were saying how much affinity they felt with Sunderland. All changed next day: the Abu Dhabi takeover was announced. Martin Haworth*, a City fan in Mackem territory, reviews the progress since then …

Salut! Sunderland (posing the question before Spurs 3 City 0!): So Man City are finally asserting themselves a little. Is a top four finish now certain in your view?

No it isn’t. For my money it would be nice to be able to qualify for the Europa League without gaining entry via the Fair Play qualification – which is how we got in on the last two occasions. I think the talk of the Champions League is mainly media frenzy. There is no-one I know who talks about it. For me, as long as there is progress, then that’s fine. It seems the owners also seem to have a patient attitude, which is good. I know that the end of last season, the form wasn’t good, and people were speculating whether Mark Hughes would keep his job, and I’m glad he has. Too often the club has suffered as a result of short-term actions. To qualify would be fine by me, and we’re still in the League Cup, so a bit of silverware would be a real bonus. Any progress on the last couple of seasons would be good.

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Soapbox: Villa(ins) of the piece

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soapbox


It’s perhaps too early to panic, but there is no mistaking the gloom that has descended on the Stadium of Light. If losing 2-0 to a buoyant Aston Villa side was not in itself disastrous, the defeat followed all too many dismal Sunderland performances. Pete Sixsmith explains why a decent display last night was not good enough …


We were well beaten. Villa were a better side. We have some problems. Three statements that, to my mind, are non-controversial, but I hope those who read them

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Wolves fans deserve a refund, but what’s gone wrong for us?

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steve


The dreadful run continues. Sunderland cannot finish off lowly teams – or even score against some of them – and can hardly count on doing fairly well, fairly consistently when confronted by the elite. Cana’s heroics have not been forgotten but he starts to look like a liability, the only question each game being how many minutes will elapse before he is shown a card. The first of our forlorn post-Villa reflections is, in part, a tale of two managers …

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Steve Bruce, admittedly struggling with a squad hit by injuries and suspensions, plays his best available teams and gets a single point from two home games. Mick McCarthy gets slated for fielding reserves at Old Trafford (and yes, the travelling Wolves fans should be given £100 a head refunds for their wasted evening), but emerges with three points from two tough away games.

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