Sunderland

The Newcastle mauling: worldly advice for Steve Bruce

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Since the Nightmare of St James’ Park, advice on what Bruce should do about Sunderland – or Short and Quinn should do about Bruce – has been flowing thick and fast. There’s been plenty from supporters based around the world as well as those enduring the reality of bragging rights being invoked closer to home. The inquest continues here with Bill Taylor offering Bruce tips from his Canadian exile on the identity of his next captain …

“Obeisant” isn’t a word you come across in everyday conversation. Not the kind of conversations I have, anyway.

My on-line dictionary defines it as “dutiful or submissive behaviour with respect to another person; bending the head or body or knee as a sign of reverence or submission or shame”.

Kind of like what Sunderland did at St. James’ Park on Sunday.

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The Newcastle Soapbox: demolition derby diminishes Bruce

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Long years, decades even, of disappointment and underachievement have made most Sunderland fans realists. Painful as it may be to face up to this, we were outclassed on the day by a Newcastle United team that deserved its massive win as much as we deserved (again, we hope, on the day) to have our quality – and yes, Steve Bruce’s tactics – exposed as woeful. A forlorn Pete Sixsmith gets it off his chest as an alternative to trying in vain to sleep …

Well, I didn’t see that coming. I thought there was a chance of us losing but not like that. Two average sides, one lightweight but with a sound defence and the other rather slow and ponderous with a tendency to concede goals at home; it looked like a 1-1 or 2-1 to me.

But 5-1? The result did not flatter them. There are no excuses to be made – we can’t say that the ref was useless, the goals were offside, they got lucky bounces. They were streets, miles, light years ahead of us in tactical nous, determination and ability.

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Sunderland’s Hedley gets Tyne-Wear derby winner. Wigan win too

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Not too many rose to the bait of a modest prize for memories of, or thoughts on, past Newcastle-Sunderland encounters. Even fewer Mackems will have the least desire to remember anything from yesterday’s apology for a Sunderland performance.

But we launched a competition so there has to be a winner of one of the books shown.

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Newcastle (3) 5 Sunderland (0) 1: the shambles and the shame

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When a contributor reckoned at Salut! Sunderland last week that we might be in for a hammering at St James’ Park, he was shot down in the nearest thing to flames we get around here.

Well, it this wasn’t a hammering, we want to know what it was. Pete Sixsmith’s will doubtless expand on his tale of woe tomorrow. This was today’s diary of gloom (with interjections from the Blackcats list). It starts with gentle banter before descending into the darkness …

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Both sides now: the Newcastle v Sunderland build-up

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If anyone still wants to enter the Tyne/Wear derby competition, the prize is now a choice between a copy of Ian Black’s pictured book and the Lance Hardy account of Sunderland’s famous last FA Cup win, Stokoe, Sunderland ’73. See footnote …

Countless thousands of people have caught the Tyne/Wear derby fever.

Those of us getting long in the tooth may sort of just want the whole thing over, preferably with three points (and that goes for fans of either side) in the bag.

Others hang on to every detail of the build-up to a game that captures imaginations around the world and is seen, rightly, as a fair English equivalent of the Old Firm or Milan derbies.

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Newcastle United away – at Roker Park

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One day to go. Pete Sixsmith cannot wait for it to be over if truth be told. Here, he climbs back on to his Soapbox to recall a bizarre derby day from the past …

Probably the most surreal derby experience I had was in our final season at Roker Park in 1997.

We had lost to them at Roker earlier in the season, despite Martin Scott putting us into the lead. Their two goals, scored in a five minute spell by Beardsley and Ferdinand were met with complete silence as there were, officially, no Newcastle fans inside the ground.

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How not to scare Chelsea, Citeh and United off Jordan

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Image: A Love Supreme

Steve Bruce‘s dismissal of stories that he has put a £20m price tag on the head of Jordan Henderson is timely and wise.

One sure result of publicly stating such a value would be to announce to the world that Jordan was for sale.

And another would be to fix the quoted sum as the highly negotiable starting point, with one of the Manchester clubs, Chelsea or maybe even ‘appy ‘arry coming in with a joke offer of rather than less than half. For a player we very much want to stay at Sunderland anyway.

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Steve Bruce: no oil painting? Quinny and Keano know why

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Owen Lennox* is a Sunderland supporter with unusual gifts. He is an author, as recently demonstrated on these pages with the story of his novel touching on Wearside history, he is an art teacher and he is an accomplished painter. Here, he describes how an attempted little sideline – painting SAFC figureheads in the hope they’d fork out to own the resulting masterpieces – slid slowly from the canvas …

As a practising portrait painter, when the commissions are few and far between I need to keep my eye in.

I am also an honorary member of the three little pigs’ society; I need to keep the big bad wolf from the door.

In order to kill two birds with one stone I use a ruse employed by the late John Bratby, he used to make portraits of famous people then contact them, on occasion they would buy their portrait, and this has proved a moderately successful ploy for me until it comes to famous footballers or managers.

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Soapbox: suffering in the rain at St James’ Park

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Sunderland fans remember the 2-1 victory in torrential rain at Newcastle United in 1999. Pete Sixsmith’s memory goes back further to another wet occasion at St James’ Park, without the uplifting consolation of a win …

Half term and a couple of days in Lincolnshire, watching the delights of Louth Town v Shirebrook Town (8-0) and Lincoln Moorlands Railway v Long Eaton Town (5-0), with this game enlivened by a strange Long Eaton supporter bellowing out “Come on Long Eaton” at regular intervals and giving a decent impersonation of the late lamented Emperor of Exmoor.

I awoke this morning, logged on to the trusty lap top and nearly expired on the spot. There, on this very site, was a fair, balanced and very enjoyable view of the Tyne/Wear Derby – by a Mag.

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