Arsenal vs SAFC ‘WAY’: a French Gooner on Henry, Advocaat and Newcastle

Jake: 'one more question: could you see your way clear to giving us a point?'
Jake: ‘one more question: could you see your way clear to giving us a point?’

Monsieur Salut writes: I decided against tempting fate by headlining one brilliant response from our French Gooner, Francis Peyrat*, because – as you shall see – it refers disparagingly to our charming, horse-whispering neighbours. So Qui est Francis? He’s lived in Arsenal territory for 20 years, loves his local club as much as any norf London Gooner but keeps an eye out for Rennes (and Bournemouth! Does that make him a glory seeker?). Francis is also president – the French are keen on that, but really it just means chairman – of Arsenal France, a stalwart band of French Gooners, naturally inspired by Arsenal’s French connections of recent times. Several of them get to games. Francis says it’s up to us to prove we are worthy of a point or more. What he thinks about the Mags should not intrude unduly on this focused but nervy edition of Who are You? …

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Sixer’s Sevens: SAFC 0-0 Leicester City. Still a point from safety

    Jake pins Sixer to the wall
    Jake pins Sixer to the wall

    Monsieur Salut writes: Pete Sixsmith, not alone among Salut! Sunderland folk in feeling nervous today, was philosophical at half time – ‘strong on effort but weak on quality’. He wasn’t much happier with the standard of play at the end of a ‘truly awful’ goalless draw, but accepted that the defeats of Newcastle and Hull made it a little easier to digest. So we enter the final two, horrendously difficult away games at Arsenal and Chelsea needing a point or either of the following – Hull failing to beat Man Utd at home or us not conceding so many in London that the Mags would need only to draw at home to West Ham to finish above us. Not really complicated; just the likelihood of a nervy end to the season. Sixer’s full assessment of the game, amplifying the seven-word verdict you see below, will appear in due course …

    Jake: 'hanging on ...'
    Jake: ‘hanging on …’

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Sunderland vs Leicester ‘Guess the Score’: when Claudio eased jingle-jangling nerves

Jake: 'this is the Biggie, me bonny Lads'
Jake: ‘this is the massive one, me bonny Lads’

Not for the first time, but we hope for the last this season, we approach a game of momentous importance.

As every schoolboy ought to know, a win on Saturday for Sunderland and a defeat or draw for Hull City would ensure our survival. After a season in which we have truly earned very little, we at last deserve the result we need on the strength of recent performances.

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HAWAY awards: Everton, Newcastle, Stoke, Crystal Palace, Aston Villa, Leeds on shortlist

Jake: 'we demanded answers and got them'
Jake: ‘we demanded answers and got them’

Salut! Sunderland announces the annual HAWAY awards for the opposing fans who gave us the best interviews this season. Only two to publish, so results should be available soon after the season ends. The first sponsorship comes from our old friends at the half-decent football magazine When Saturday Comes – a year’s subscription – for which we are very grateful …

It’s the bit that makes all the effort involved tracking down Who are You? interviewees worthwhile.

The Haway awards – made each season for the best of our Highly Articulate Who are You? features – are back.

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Leicester Who are You?: ‘Foxes are good, SAFC dull as Hull’

Jake: 'any win will do'
Jake: ‘any win will do – again’

So we reach what Jake, our illustrator, rightly calls The Biggie. Win and we’re safe unless Hull win both their games, starting at Spurs on Saturday, and we lose both the remaining ones next Wednesday and on May 24. Lose and we must rely on others – or our own ability to produce a magical result from the Emirates or Stamford Bridge. Anything can happen. James Bennett*, another of Monsieur Salut’s former Abu Dhabi colleagues, is a diehard Leicester fan, somewhat uncomplimentary about the way Sunderland play as opposed to how we support them (so are we from time to time) and yearning for a chance for his club to build on their achievements this season. Since answering our questions, James – who at least admits Leicester were poor in the first game – has accused us of being lucky in both the Southampton and Everton games …

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Sunderland 1 Chelsea 0 as Mourinho’s Under 21s settle for play-acting

What, more from Duncan? Jake's man grabs another
What, more from Duncan? Jake’s man grabs another

Week after week, whatever the team, a supporter famous or unknown comes to the Salut! Sunderland ‘Who are You?’ hot seat and expresses horror at one of the scourges of the current game: the squalid combination of diving, feigned injuries and attempts to get fellow professionals booked that has become so prevalent we ask interviewees if the time has come to give up and devote a chapter to cheating in the coaching manuals.

We are as hard on Sunderland players who cheat as on opponents. But after watching another master class of play-acting, this time from Chelsea’s Under 21s, Pete Sixsmith wonders whether this is really how Jose Mourinho – the indisputably worthy title-winning manager – wants his teams to play?

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And now we’re five: Villa, Leicester, Hull, True Geordie`s Newcastle and us


So Burnley departed the Premier with great grace, leaving a gift for the other strugglers by dumping Hull right in it. QPR capitulated at the Etihad and there`s just one relegation place left …

Let’s start with controversy. I don’t really want Newcastle United to go down, except if it’s instead of us. And I’ll be hoping for Boro to progress on Friday to the playoff final, followed by victory at Wembley.

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10cc and The Things We Do For Love when we support Sunderland

Peter Lynn: a musical theme for every moment
Peter Lynn: a musical theme for every moment

Is is time to fire rubber bullets at Peter Lynn, aka Wrinkly Pete? The moment when we just say: ‘Sorry Donna, but you’ll just have to accept I’m not in love“? Maybe Une Nuit A Paris would give us answers but, then, writing for Salut! Sunderland is never much more than Art for Art’s Sake as Mandy would surely confirm when not flying (or being flown).

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Nine words we want Dick Advocaat to be able to repeat after Everton

Jake dreams of a survival-boosting win
Jake dreams of a survival-boosting win

The words in question were uttered by Dick Advocaat about the ‘worked their socks off’ performance that brought three points against Southampton: ‘It was an honour to sit on the bench’ …

As usual, in an arrangement that will come to an end if Sunderland are relegated, I have previewed the forthcoming game at ESPN’s website.

The Salut! Sunderland buildup has been pretty much in accordance with custom and practice. You’ve seen our guest Evertonian Hannah Myers’s excellent “Who are You?” interview. You may have had a stab at the Guess the Score competition.

But what matters now is the result. Lose and we may have to start seriously contemplating life below stairs. Unless we think points can come from Arsenal and Chelsea away, whatever happens when Leicester visit the Stadium of Light.

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