England, by any other name

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Jeremy Robson has already commented at another Salut! Sunderland post that France’s abject failure means Slovenia – maybe – couldn’t have chosen a worse time to face us, so great will be England’s fear of following France into the early departure lounge. But as this piece of whimsy shows he’s having it both ways, dreaming up a novel explanation in case we stumble again …

Everyone is puzzled about the poor form that England have shown thus far in the World Cup.

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Luke’s World Cup: comfort in the discomfort of giants

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Time to concentrate anew on England v Slovenia. OK. England have been rubbish so far. But France have made our rubbish look good (I hate to say it but the obvious reaction to today’s decisive result is frankly “good riddance”), and there have been unconvincing performances from Italy, Germany and – until last night – Spain. Patriotic to the end, Luke Harvey tries his best to keep the faith …

“I can’t believe we didn’t beat such a poor team,” came one comment from around the table. “I know,” I replied, “It almost makes you ashamed to be Algerian, doesn’t it?”

A few forced smiles were raised but the day after the night before was still a bit too early for such jocularity. The conversation was quickly diverted away from football towards something less disheartening.

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England v Slovenia: a World Cup ‘Who Are You?’

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Imagine a different world, one where you haven’t the faintest idea of what footballers get up to off the field. A life lived in the beautiful city of Ljubljana, capital of a country where football isn’t even the national sport, and you’ve barely even heard of Sunderland. Jaka Katrasnik* is a keen fan of Slovenia, and his club, NK Olimpija, all the same and looks forward to a result tomorrow that would keep England on our own front pages for the wrong reason … and there may be a second Slovenian fan along soon to rub it in

Salut! Sunderland: The first two games leave Slovenia in a strong position. But how bad does two unimpressive draws make England, and how lucky were you to avoid defeat against the USA?

Yes, we have good chances for advancing to the next stage. In my opinion England didn’t play as good as this team can. I believe England has very good individuals but from seeing their two games I would say they lack team spirit and motivation. The Slovenian team is the opposite. Our players are not as good as England’s. They don’t play in the best European football clubs, as England’s players do. However they are very good as a team. They have team spirit and motivation. They have played very good in qualification (eliminating Russia) and they are playing very good now in the World Cup. They did have some luck against the USA. But so did the Americans. The refereeing was horrible from the start. Dempsey should have gotten a yellow card for that ugly start on Ljubijankic in the first minute. There were more yellow card fouls committed by the Americans that the referee didn’t see. The American goal was disallowed because of Bocanegra’s (3) foul on Pecnik (7) (see the image above). True, the Slovenian players were fouling the Americans also but the referee decided the Bocanegra’s foul was more severe.

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Vamos Paraguay – una vez más

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Rob Hutchison gave us a juicy flavour of the tale of how a few stray Sunderland fans met for a highly partisan evening for Paraguay v Italy, our boys in red and white stripes putting in a show of honest endeavour to snatch an unexpected draw. It wouldn’t be right to let the occasion pass without the main course, served up by Clive Stevenson, who explains the widespread Vamos Paraguay phenomenon among SAFC fans and reveals more of a memorable night out (and its sequel) …


See also: Ha’way Paraguay, Vamos Sunderland


Well,
the story started a bit before that Rob, and I wish I could use the old Hot Chocolate lyric It started with a kiss

… but I’m afraid it started with a deep sense of betrayal and rejection that came with the news that all of us expected, that the striker who scored 24 goals last season, only two behind the bizarre result of an experiment to clone a bulldog with a can of Campbell’s condensed vegetable soup and almost two dozen ahead of a lump of wood, was left out of the England squad.

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World Cup Soapbox: why is Mark Lawrenson so bloody miserable?

soapboxAfter all the gloom about the dearth of exciting, high quality football, could it be that things are looking up at the World Cup? Pete Sixsmith thinks so, and even balances all that recent criticism by praising some of the BBC’s pundits. There is one obvious exception …

The end of the second round of games has seen a marked improvement in the tournament, although, sadly, the same can not be said of the refereeing.

Kaka’s sending off was harsh. You could argue that he lifted his elbow, but the response of Keita was disappointing and I am not sure that the referee actually saw it.

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Brazil v Cote d’Ivoire, through Canadian eyes

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Bill Taylor reports with laptop and lens from his temporary second home, the Little Italy quarter of Toronto. Is he really watching three games a day, as his stream of comments to Salut! Sunderland suggests, and will it make him go blind? …


Also: Join the debate on Kaka’s invisible assault

I learned something during the Brazil-Cote d’Ivoire game – that TV sports commentators don’t ALWAYS talk drivel.
During the later stages of the game – before it almost deteriorated into a gang rumble beyond the referee’s control – the guy doing commentary for CBC said something to the effect of: “Leaving aside their own supporters, Brazil is pretty much every soccer fan’s second-choice team.”

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England and France: two lost causes?

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Maybe the best expression of the entente cordiale is England and France agreeing to do as badly as each other out in South Africa. Jeremy Robson tries to make some sense of the goings-on in the camps of two national teams seemingly going nowhere, except home …

Within the next few days, both the English and French national sides both face expulsion rather earlier than expected from the 2010 World Cup.

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England Algeria: Oh Dear, Oh Dear, Oh Dear!!

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Were you disappointed with last night’s performance?  Did you expect better?  Pete Sixsmith invokes the spirit of Ambridge to try to get our gallant lads back on track

As older readers would know this was Walter Gabriel’s response whenever anything went wrong in Ambridge in the 50s and 60s. Walter was not a football fan, being more interested in ploughing matches and pig breeding, but I have a feeling that:

a) he could have picked a better side than Don Capello

b) he could have played better than Wayne Rooney

c) he could have offered more insights than the lamentable Andy Townsend on ITV

What a shocking performance from a bunch of players who showed exactly why Franz Beckenbauer’s criticism was absolutely spot on. In fact, they could not even play kick and rush effectively as crosses and long balls were just ballooned into the sky.

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Luke’s World Cup: when commentators and pundits fall short


Where are Kenneth Wolstenholme and George Taylor when you most need them? Luke Harvey spent months looking forward to the World Cup only to find it marred (so far) by indifferent football and (probably for the duration) poor punditry.Of course, Ken and Goerge did the commentary and the punditry without help …


Imagine
the scene: George Osborne – Chancellor of the Exchequer and a man whose stiff upper lip is matched by his even stiffer looking hair – is on Question Time about to face a fierce interrogation from the fearsome Jeremy Paxman.

Paxman strikes first, quickly questioning Osborne on the proposed budget cuts and if they truly are feasible. Osborne reclines in his seat, clasps his hands together and with a smirk and a chuckle pronounces: “I don’t really know much about the numbers side of things, to be honest.”

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