Up against a cocky-sounding Pompey, where’s Joe Bolton when you need him?

Sunderland v Portsmouth. Was a top vs bottom clash. Now looks an awful lot more nervy an encounter …

After an appalling run on the road, Sunderland have managed to turn what should have been a routine staging post on our cruise up the table into a crucial must-win sort of game.

And what happens? Pompey fans are salivating at the prospect of three away points they think are theirs for the taking as they look to their players to exploit our deepening injury and suspension crisis.

If we could get a few ex-SAFC forty and fiftysomething defenders registered in time, they’d stand good chances of starting tomorrow’s game. Steve Bruce may no longer fancy it but Pete Sixsmith and I will be contenders to get on the pitch if it gets much worse; we’d offer weight and height if not too much mobility.

No Bardsley. No Cattermole. No Ferdinand or Zenden. Mensah ruled out now. McCartney only 50-50. Richardson suspended again too.

Bookings and injuries happen. But if stupidly conceded yellow cards have caused absences that come to be seen as costing us points over the coming four or five days, maybe Bruce should dish out some hefty fines.

Anyone else got any bright ideas? We could always get Lorik Cana to impose a bit of discipline on the more wayward of his teammates. As the club captain and intellectual, he could made an unnecessary card punishable by whole afternoons and evenings of cultural pursuits, leading miscreants on guided tours of Durham Cathedral or walking stretches of Hadrian’s Wall or giving them conversational classes in French, Albanian and German (English optional).

On the odd occasion when it’s Lorik who has fallen foul of a referee’s decision, the appropriate penalty for him might be to be locked in a padded cell for a few hours with nothing to while away the time other than the Daily Star, a CD of X Factor performances and a selection of video games, age group 10-12.

We’re just joking, lads. You – the Lads – just get out there tomorrow and win to ease our unexpected concerns.

Colin Randall

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5 thoughts on “Up against a cocky-sounding Pompey, where’s Joe Bolton when you need him?”

  1. I wouldn’t say Pompey fans were cocky – there may be a select few – but the majority are a negative bunch.

    It’s an obvious advantage for Pompey having your key defenders injured.

    Will our strikers be able to take advantage of your injury crisis? It’s 50-50.

    Hopefully they will, if not, I shall not be surprised. I think our fans are more concerned about how we’ll deal with Bent and Jones.

  2. Well Jon not all footy board posters use slang and short hand partially because that is not how everyone speaks and partially because some of us are old enough to value the English language. No that is not looking down on anyone but if we are expected to take others as we find them so too should they. What however I do not understand is why anyone would downgrade your post simply because it is contentious. I have completed 60 years as a Sunderland supporter and the strength of our support compared to our near neighbours has been the ability to laugh in adversity.

    As for taking the piss where the Mags are concerned they are big boys who have given it out large for years and it doesn’t hurt to tweak their tails a bit. When it comes down to it what matters is how we perform and thus far I am still not impressed with the level of commitment on the part of some players.

    The measure of a team is how we grind out the difficult results and come back for behind and that is not happening if anything it is the Middlesbrough syndrome playing well against the big teams and like a lemon against lower opposition and look where it got them.

    Injuries have taken their toll but I am sick to the back teeth of that poser Jones. he is the equivalent of a Caribbean Joe Bugner he has all the physical attributes and should be one of the greatest players in the country unfortunately most of the time it is all fart and no shit.

    Why worry if your posts are not well received if they provoke debate but perhaps less of a personal attack upon another Sunderland poster and more of a criticism of his opinion would be preferable. Not everyone knows long words, some have to use a dictionary but that is a plus factor but if that is how he speaks why should he dumb down the post for others? How condescending would that be?

  3. Jon: Salut! Sunderland does not award thumbs up or thumbs down. The icons are there for readers of the site to use – and I see a few are winding you up again now.

    Your view on Toon-baiting is valid. I think it’s fine as a bit of light-hearted banter but gets tedious if that’s all we do. Same applies to any other form of baiting and I will probably wind down the Bordeaux-baiting column for that reason.

  4. I find it rather strange that my comments on the topic (9-1 safc v newcastle) story were given the thumbs down? whys that? is this not a site where people are supposed to give a truthfull opinion on stuff? in a view that creates debate? my comment was as follows-unless you fear their is some truth in what i said and dont like it? is that what us safc fans have become? so bitter about the mags that it matters more than how well were doing?
    “Instead of toon baiting, why dont we just wait to see how they do if they go up-we can hardly brag as our record is far worse than theirs! why act as if were a great premier league team just because we escaped relegation ourselves by a few points?? its hardly an achievemant lads-lol-and pete i thought u would have outgrew your bias attitude at your age-its petty and bitter-most blokes your age like the rivals to do well! you dont fool anyone by spouting your intellect on a footy blog man-footy blogs use slang and shorthand-why do u have to constantly try and belittle people’s intelligence? maybe your so bitter u cant see the truth, so try and pretend to be something your not? why let them know that your really bothered? every bitter comment just adds to them laffin at us! for god sake-ide be happy if we had of had anywhere near their premier league finishing positions and champions league football- and they were up their 16 years-as opposed to our yoyo-ing up n down for the same time scale-grow up man and stop trying to belittle people with your spouting of long words etc-everyone knows them-but this is fansite not an interview-or status checker… “

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