What do grown men do when snowed in, bored with the new year or just in need of a bit of banter with the next match still days away?
They start trying to translate or analyse footballers’ tweets.
“Happy New Year folks,” said someone at the Blackcats list this morning as I trudged through snow in Burnley, where I am not among the candidates for interview as replacement for Owen Coyle.
“Could someone please interpret Benty’s latest twitter feed for me?” …
From: @DBTheTruth
Sent: 5 Jan 2010 10:05On my way to training bumping drake. He is running the place right now
The first reply was short and to the point: “Drake? Everyone’s on the drake in the ten-dot.”
But to what point? I confessed that the explanation left me completely defeated. Out of touch? A function of old age? Or were both the Darren Bent tweet and the Blackcats response pure gibberish?
My fellow Blackcatter filled in half the answer: “Well, I have no idea what drake is. Ten-dot is 2010, yeah.”
Time for an admission that I really should try to get out more. But then, I’m stuck in several inches of snow in Burnley so getting out, for now, has its limitations.
And then a Sunderland supporter from the Western Isles made me feel a great deal better by chipping in with the reasonable question: “How the hell do you get 2010 from 10-dot?”
Across in Canada, Jeremy provided further reassurance, saying no one spoke like that there, either. “I didn’t bump any racoons or skunks on my way to work for nine sharp though, folks, ” he added, keeping a straight face while wondering where Darren’s drake was “a reference to the late great Ted Drake once of Arsenal?”
I knew where to find the answer, though, and hotfooted over to RTG when Downhill Mackem was pointing out in a completely unrelated discussion that “money, cars, clothes and ho*s..i suppose..i just wanna b successful! X”
was a quote from a rap song by Drake ft Trey Songz.
Darren wasn’t bumping into anyone. Bumping was his verb for listening, and Drake ft Trey Songz is currently his listening of choice. I think.
Colin Randall
What a load of cr*p, Is the reason that they have to make up a language because they actually cannot speak intelligible English.
It dives me dotty to hear African Americans who are incapable of pronouncing the word ask saying aks, now our lazy linguists are starting to copy them.
Bah Humbug