Bolton Who are You?: ‘isn’t he a bit like Bale?’


Who can they possibly mean? Are there lots of Egyptians in Bolton?

So Sunderland, our own El Bale and all, take on the high-flying Wanderers on Saturday. But this is an emergency “Who are You?”. It always seems tough, for some reason, to find Bolton fans to do this feature, and the search hasn’t been helped by illness, at their end and ours. We haven’t quite given up, but this may have to do …

Teams of highly trained Salut! Sunderland sleuths scoured Lancashire, indeed the world, for someone answering the description “warm, witty or wise supporter of Bolton Wanderers.

Mindful of our great tradition of getting an opposing supporter to preview each match (except when every Stoke City fan seemed to be saying “rearrange off and f*** into a well-known phrase or saying”), we kept going until the very end. And then the end came. Sadly, our intrepid search party had drawn a blank.

That’s one way of describing our failure. The more prosaic version is that we were on a promise that has come, in the end, to nothing- though no blame attaches to the Wanderers fansite administrator who made the promise.

Chris, from Burnden Aces, had said he was too under the cosh to help but would find a supersub. In the event, word finally came back that he had been “struck down with tonsillitis since last Tuesday and spent the last two days in hospital”.

Monsieur Salut had been stopped by his own bout of illness from spreading the net much wider.

Optmistic messages to the small number of celeb fans listed as supporting Bolton had already been ignored, the silence from the TV and radio presenters Emma Forbes and Vernon Kay suggesting that famous people probably don’t even see the mail addressed to them via their own websites.

In a list stretching only to six names – who was it at Ready to Go that mocked Salut! Sunderland‘s own roll call of celeb supporters? – one of the others mentioned was Kenneth Wolstenholme. The first reader who says “they think he’s all over” will receive a yellow card.

It is still just possible that someone will turn up before M Salut negotiates the road north to be at the match, assuming there is a match (and indeed a passable road). Sod’s Law means there’ll probably be four sets of replies and that they’ll all come after we’ve left.

We can certainly promise that of the Christmas Who are You?s, Manchester United should prove no problem while Blackpool is not only in the bag already, but special.

But back to this weekend’s game. Just in case the collective mind of fans of Bolton Wanders no further than the Reebok, here is a selection of thoughts on the match – and on us – drawn from Burnden Aces contributors:

Howfen White:

Big game this one, if we win we’ll really cement our place in the top 6 going into the Christmas fixtures, with the worst case scenario being four points clear of 7th place.

Although they’re only one place below us, I think they’re beatable. I think Elmander can cause major problems for Anton Ferdinand and Mensah at the back, and with Cattermole on the pitch it will be them going down to 10 men rather than us for a change.

I would accept ‘hoof it’ tactics on Saturday. I don’t think we should go there and play football, just get it away from their attack as quickly as possible because the trio of Bent, Gyan and Welbeck is worrying. I also fancy Kevin Davies in the air against Anton Ferdinand, as he’s hardly a Chris Samba type figure and I think he’ll be involved a lot more than he was against Blackburn. I think there will be goals but if we have another excellent defensive performance like we did against Venky’s then we should get something.

I’ll go for a 3-2 to Bolton. COYWM!


3-1 Elmander, Holden, Cahill

Come On You Whites!!!


Anton Ferdinand is injured, they have about 3 centre halves out. They had to have that El Mohammadi at right back against Fulham on Saturday. They are beatable they are nowt to fear but they do have that f***er Darren Bent.

Le God

That El Mohammadi was quite good last time i saw him. Bit of pace.


Can’t say having your winger at right back is ideal.

Howfen White

I knew they had a couple out but I didn’t know Ferdinand was one of them. As for Al Muhammadi or however they now spell his name (it seems to change a fair bit) I think he’s a Bale type of player, used to be a full back but is now a winger…. or vice versa. I thought he looked pretty good for Egypt a bit back but doesn’t seem to have hit it off at Sunderland yet.


I think as said above Sunderland are beatable and to be honest I didn’t really realise they were one place below us. (Can’t say I have followed them that much this season).

Bent, Gyan and Wellbeck could tear our defence apart as we struggle really badly with players with pace, christ even DJ campbell gave us the run around on his own so fcúk knows what them 3 could do if they get it right on saturday.

But there defence isn’t exactly water tight so it should be a good game.

1-1 – Davies for us and Bent for Sunderland.


I think we can beat anybody on are day now.It’s just a case of which bolton turn up.

As for turning up there and lumping it,i wouldnt fix what isnt broken and just keep on playing good attacking football.It’s working well so far.Lets let them worry about us like we did Blackburn.

I reckon its a 2-2 draw but am hoping im wrong and we dick em!!!!

Natasha Whittam

Can only see defeat, we haven’t played well for 3 games now and Sunderland will make home advantage pay. Probably 2-0.


They haven’t lost at home this season. Doubt we’ll go there and win. I’d be very happy with a point.

I have a feeling we’ll go 2-0 up (Cahill and Elmander) but Darren fcuking Bent will get his customary brace and we’ll end up feeling like we’ve lost despite getting a very good point.

Or we won’t take the lead, Bent will still score and we’ll lose. Either way, Bent will score at least once and we won’t win.


I think we’ll hit them for 3 but can’t see us not conceding if Bent is in the mood. 3-1.

And so it goes on, with win, lose and draw all covered and one voice – that of one Eva Delle Harlow – offering the prediction that surely no one wants to come true: “I predict the game gets postponed due to the weather.”

STOP PRESS: at least one Bolton fan preview coming up after all …

Monsieur Salut

10 thoughts on “Bolton Who are You?: ‘isn’t he a bit like Bale?’”

  1. I loved Natasha’s piece. Refreshing honesty from someone with a genuine love of the game and her club. It’s disappointing though to see such a load of frankly “crap” being spouted by other Bolton fans who should realise that one swallow doesn’t make a summer.

  2. I look forward to my return to Sunderland AFC. There is a positive feeling within the locker room ahead of tomorrows game. I hope you still respect our recent 5-1 bashing of your local rivals Newcastle Black/White socks.

    Viva America!!

  3. Banter, Mike, banter. A sense of humour and proportion would help.

    This was said at Burnden Aces about Natasha Whittam’s Bolton fan preview:

    I am surprised you let him get away with the nose bleed comment as other than 1 off under Peter Reid when was Sunderland consistently competing for top 8 places?

    My reply could have been to whinge about ignorance and disrespect, but was:

    … you do realise we’ve won loads and loads of top-flight championships, don’t you? The fact that they were mostly in the 1890s is irrelevant.

  4. Bolton are a well established premisership side, who are now in their 10th consecutive season in the prem.
    Sunderland can only dream of spending 10 consecutive years in the prem.
    The comments from the Sunderland fans is at best born out of ignorance & at worst very disrepectful.

  5. Bolton have always been a poor team but always manage to pull off shock/unexpected results. Although we have an amazing home record it is teams like Bolton who can manage to pull something off. I feel they are in a false position at the moment and hopefully a win will move us above them and keep us above them. OC has them playing really well but at the end of the day, you cant polish a turd so hopefully we should walk over them. Prediction – I think we will just nick it 7-1 😉 FTM

    p.s I dont necessarily think it’s a bad thing having Anton Ferdinand missing and it will interesting to see Elmohamedy at his preferred position of Right Back…

  6. To be honest most of you are talking crap, and don’t seem to have looked onto the form at all. Sunderland are unbeaten at home this season and only lost twice at home last season (Chelsea and Villa) as well as that this season we are hold joint most clean sheets (8) along with Chelsea and Man City. At best I would say Bolton could hope for a low scoring draw, but I’ll go for 1-0 Sunderland.

  7. They seem a bit full of themselves, don’t they. No doubt they will bring their usual 150 or so fans. Would the Premier League miss Bolton as a club? I think not. I would much rather have Sheffield United or Nottingham Forest up there. Bugger all to do at Horwich pre game.

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