Joan Osborne is of Irish stock so maybe casts an eye from time to time across the Atlantic at how an Irish-American owner and pure Irish chairman are getting on at Sunderland. She may be pleased to hear her whimsical hit One of Us served as a slightly tenuous inspiration for Jeremy Robson to set a rather interesting ball rolling …
That Joan Osborne song, Jeremy reports from his Ontario exile, was on the radio the other day, the one with the mention of “just one question” before the chorus line “What if God was one of us?”.
Some question. But what, he (not He) wondered, if we all had the right to put just one question of our own to any Sunderland player, past or present. To whom would you pose yours and what would it be?
Jeremy’s would be to Marco Gabbiadini.
What on earth made you sign for Crystal Palace?
M Salut has a pal at the BBC who occasionally contributes to these pages, knows Marco well enough and will probably know the answer. But I wouldn’t want to spoil Jeremy’s fun, or ours.
You can add your imaginary answer from Marco or post a question of your own. If the idea takes off, I may even offer a prize for the best response. If no one bothers to rise to Jeremy’s bait, we can all blame him.
I can’t immediately think of my own question, but do have a random Joan Osborne anecdote even if the poor girl is by now wondering how she got dragged into idle banter at Salut! Sunderland.
A few years ago, I arranged a telephone interview with her (I was then the folk bloke for The Daily Telegraph) about a fine version of a great Irish ballad Raglan Road.
It appeared an album by the Chieftains on which they backed a procession of female singers, all singing Irish or Irish-related songs. From memory, tracks included Joni Mitchell’s Magdalene Laundries, the Corrs singing I’ll Tell Me Ma and something by Sinead O’Connor.
I finally got through to her from a phone box in Belfast, where I was working, and had a good chat. It went on longer than expected (at gratifyingly large cost to the Telegraph) making me late for a meal with friends. I got there, plonked down my A4 notebook on the floor and prepared to slurp some wine.
The waitress appeared by my side and began to open a bottle of Moroccan or Lebanese red. As the cork came out of the top, the bottom of the bottle suddenly fell off, sending a torrent of plonk onto my notebook. If ever Joan wondered if and how her quotes had become pickled, she now has her answer.
All of which has for some reason put a question into my mind after all.
Sadly it has to be posed posthumously.
Andy Kerr, who died in 1997 aged just 66, was a Scottish centre forward who arrived at Roker Park in1963 with a big reputation as a man who, in 101 games, had hit no fewer than 90 goals for Kilmarnock.
His spell at Sunderland was a little less glorious, just five goals in 18 before he was shipped off to Aberdeen. Andy was clearly nearing the end of his career by then; his only two Scottish caps having been several years earlier.
My question? :What did you think when SAFC said to you: ‘Welcome to Wearside, Mr Kerr. We expect you to fill Brian Clough’s boots and take over where he left off’?
To Jimmy Montgomery : How on earth did you manage to save that shot from Peter Lorimer at Wembley?
That’s three Mr Sixsmith!
To Roy Keane; ” What did you see in El Hadj Diouf’s character that made you think he woud be a positive influence in the dresing room?”
To Ian McColl; “What made you think that Goege Kinnell would discourage rather than encourage Jim Baxter from attempting to become the Greatest Bacardi Drinker in the History Of The World?
To Sir John Hall;”Do you ever lie awke t night and worry about the hideous black and white monster you unleashed on an unsuspecting world”?
We know know a lot more about Lebanese wine now (and Auberon Waugh was a pompous right-wing snob but sometimes very funny all the same; must be the mark of a fine wit if someone can make you laugh even though you disagree with almost everything they say).
But hardly anything about the question question, so to speak. The link went on at the Sunderland pages of not606 as well and the following replies have been posted there:
“i would ask paul hardyman how good it felt kicking john burridge in the head” – murray out
Mine is to Steve Bruce: “Will you be walking your daughter down the aisle during her marriage to Darren Bent?” – Dorset Mackem
SuperKev: “Was there genuinely a time when you stopped trying for SAFC and if so, when was it and why?” – kingshirker
Gareth Hall: “Why did you choose football?” – kingshirker
Mine is to michael chopra: “How much did you get paid to make that pass instead of shooting?” – commachio
To the boring one up the road (Mr Shearer if you hadn’t guessed): “Why did you lack ambition…………. were you allergic to winning trophies or what?”
It’s an education here on Salut. I’m sure Lebanon must be a fantastic place to visit.
I’m amazed that I’ve never come across Lebanese wines at all now Dave.
Lebanon has some of the best wines I’ve ever tasted. If you ever go to Lebanon, and the Bekka Valley, visit the winery which was built by the Romans and eventually occupied by Monks after the Romans succumbed. The Monastery has literally miles of underground caves in which wine is stored at a cool 12 Degrees C. You can taste the wine both before and after the visit and it’s very reasonably priced!
Auberon Waugh was a prat anyway!
I wonder what Auberon Waugh’s daughter would have made of a bottle of Vaux Double Maxim?
I realise most folk here are beer men, and a pint or three of good real ale is hard to beat especially before a match. But on wine, Chateau Musar is one of the discoveries I most cherish.
It is produced in Lebanon, bang (sometimes literally) in the Bekaa Valley and kept going throughout the worst times of civil war. I went to the chateau, which is elsewhere in the country, north of Beirut, while living in the Middle East but it was a bloke in Cardiff who first introduced it to me! I’ve certainly drunk Algerian wine but it didn’t have the same impact. Auberon Waugh once wrote a in a wine column that his daughter had tried the Musar and detected the “taste of a Red Cross lorry” running through it, which might have been in appalling taste but knocked spots off the usual pompous piffle that’s usually written about wine.
I must confess to having never heard of Andy Kerr previously M. Salut. Even close to half a century after you might have posed that question it remains an interesting (but of course, unanswered point).
As a frequent consumer (certainly not connoisseur) of red wine, I am forced to admit only a fleeting acquaintance with Moroccan wine. It was brought to me by an Algerian friend (who presumably couldn’t find anything closer to his origins). It was, let’s say not too clever. I hadn’t even realised that there was such an offering as Lebanese red wine. Visitors to Salut can learn something every day.
The friend in question now resides very close to M. Salut. My question to him might be “Why on earth did you bring that?”