West Ham v SAFC: where did Millwall come into it?

We can give them the benefit of the doubt and accept the word of the Millwall fansite House of Fun that raising money to fly the “Avrim Grant: Millwall legend” banner above the ground as Wigan equalised to dump West Ham in the Championship really was “just a bit of friendly banter”. We had own own moments of friendly banter two seasons ago when, as we supposed, a nation rejoiced Toon Doon.

But what are we to make of Millwall supporters planning to head towards Upton Park on Sunday, when we play the Hammers in the last game of the season?

Someone with a more charitable outlook than mine may suggest that this, too, is an entirely innocent piece of fun. I am struggling to find any possible reason for making such a journey except to cause trouble.

We have already suffered collateral damage from West Ham’s shocking assault on fans’ pockets, with a £46 asking price justified on the grounds that the Hammers’ Premier survival looked at one stage as if it might depend on the outcome. Now we face being dragged into an outbreak of tedious aggression between rival neanderthals.

Does the Met know about these plans? It is a big thing to suggest interfering with the right to travel, but I would certainly lose no sleep if hoodlums from the Isle of Dogs and the other side of the river were physically prevented from getting anywhere near the Boleyn.

The information may be patchy. But this is from southern-based Sunderland supporters:

* My younger sister’s friends from Bermondsey say that they know lots of Millwall fans who are heading down to Upton Park on Sunday to have a party. I suggest that those going may need to take extra care lest Sunderland get caught up in it all.

* The match on Sunday is the only topic on Millwall fans minds at the moment … they are extremely excited about it. The phrase I heard from a mate is that they are planing to “Congratulate our Cockney Cousins on a Commendable Consignment to the Championship”.

People connected with Millwall, including supporters for whom “no one likes us, we don’t care” is no more than a neat, if slightly sad slogan summoning memories of seriously dark days for English football, sometimes complain about the stereotype reputation for mindless thuggishness attached to their club. Unless the anecdotal evidence is wrong, they risk having their cause set back a step or two on Sunday afternoon.

Monsieur Salut

28 thoughts on “West Ham v SAFC: where did Millwall come into it?”

  1. Having made our way to Greenwich to embark on our assault of the vermin masses we were bitterly dispointed to find that the person we ordered Viking Longboats from had got our order mixed up and rather than us boarding the said longboats we were stood looking at 200 sheep dressed in stockings an suspenders which were ordered for swansea city’s aftermatch party for their trip to wembley next week.

    Sadly to say their will be no sexual activity for the welsh boys as we slaughted all but on of the sheep fr a bar b cue which were delicious, the one sheep that got away was stolen by a man with a red dragon tattoo who took it to the cinema before booking into a local hotel.

    Work is underway on a wooden bridge straight into the olympic stadium from South London so we do not have to rely on third parties for our next assault, however by the time its finished (we estimate in time for the 2012/13 season) we fear the vermin will have left our division and be more interested in their rivalry with leyton orient and dagenham and redbridge.

  2. Hmmm – I detect a bit of nuisance in the air. I live in the garden of England and when the team from the east end are at home wafts of anchovy odour pass over my humble dwelling each time their MD crosses and uncrosses her legs. My advice to those intending to attend the game on saturday is to inspect the BBC weather website to peruse over the prevailing wind direction before one selects one’s seat for the match.

  3. And Lord K remains the star of this show.

    christ, thanks for that. now we wont be able to shut him up.

    as a punishment we are sending you Ikari

  4. I was on the London underground the other day and there was a gentleman on the seat opposite. When he went to get off i noticed that he’s dropped his wallet, so I called after him and gave it back to him. he fixed me with a cold stare and said ‘thank you, for your kind gesture i will give you a warning, don’t go anywhere near the home end at Upton Park next week for your own safety, up the Lions!’

    That Millwall lot are definitely up to something, go careful now.

  5. latetrain spectacularly misses the point that SAFC supporters have a right to know what some people may have in mind. If it doesn’t happen, great – it was just a bit of bravado, never meant to be put into action. And as for putting ideas into people’s minds: the notion of anyone of yobbish intent ever wanting to stray into this site beggars belief.

    Someone else – Tom? – has clearly yet to sit in the UP away end. And Lord K remains the star of this show.

  6. this smacks of getting a thrill out of trying to create something out of nothing. talk about putting ideas in people’s head. grossly irresponsible post. well done for stoking up an otherwise non-event of a football match.

    latetrain, se27

  7. I think you Millwall lads should just turn up at Upton Park and give these long suffering Hammers a good laugh.

    You’ve certainly made me chuckle! You’ve provided us with the best laugh in ages here on Salut.

    Cracking stuff! 🙂

  8. I feel the urge to finish the good LKs sentence with “a slap up meal at Mrs Miggins pie shop”…….but I won’t.

  9. Crumbs, is it Saturday so soon?

    I must get out my knuckledusters, sword and longbow, team up with Halfway Liners, Under 5s, Wackers and Treatment so that we can sweep in from the left flank, meeting up with the right in a pincer movement that Gen Swcharpskoff (sp) would be proud of.

    (we are parachuting in btw – from our very own airforce)

    On the other hand I might just get some gardening done and smile about the latest car crash saga that is Vermin

  10. At exactly 12 noon 14 viking longboats hired especially for Saturday will make their way over the river from South London.

    We will disembark on the East Side of the River and make a pilgrimage to our ancestral home on the Isle of Dogs before rampaging and pillageing the east end. (They’ll be no rape as all the woman are far too ugly)

    We will finish up by destroying all the seafood stalls and closing all the front door that are left open in case the neighbours want to pop in, and dirtying up the front steps that mum has spent all morning polishing.
    We will then give slap to all the lying C**ts who’s “Dad used to drink with the Krays” before taking the longboat back to the South side for

  11. jonnyhammer said “you always bring good support unliike the Blackburns and Bolton of this world with three men and a dog on the terrace.”

    I wonder how much Sullivan and Gold would want to charge the pooch to get in?

  12. We don’t need to turn up in person…we’re airbourne nowdays lads; this is the 21st century after all. Furthermore, we’ve gone nuclear. I’m informed by the corrupt Pakistani officials who we bought our missles from that they are as accurate as an American pilot flying over an Iraqui wedding. Therefore, you will be safe Sunday..we only aim to hit the home sections.

  13. Just stay at home lads. This isn’t for you. We ain’t playing games. Perhaps a bit of poker on the tube from Bermondsey but that’s it.

  14. Johnnyhammer

    “I was at the WHU v Millwall match and it was like a throwback to the 70s, loads of pot-bellied 50 year olds, who haven’t been to game in twenty years,”

    Did you do maths over Tower Hamlets?

  15. Salut does seem to have a flair for poking certain posters gently in the ribs and securing a huge bite.

    It is almost an art form in itself.

  16. I doubt there is a Sunderland fan who would care a monkeys whether Millwall visit the game and it would not be in the least surprising if they did. After all a Manure fan accompanied the Spurs fans to Liverpool, to display a banner reminding Liverpool that the score was the Pool 18, Manure 19. Bloody funny it was too.

    There remain however brain dead morons in most clubs of such limited intellectual capacity that violence is their only means of self expression.

    The primary concern when trouble of this type arises is the damage to the game. Our support is as loyal as any. Paying the price of the usurious tickets offered by Gold and co has hurt but not deterred the exceptional travelling support that follow Sunderland around the country.

    You will never under this mollycoddling apology for a legal system stop mindless violence. I however would welcome execution for anyone spoiling my football as a result of them either carrying a weapon, or indulging in premeditated violence, the former simply being an anticipation of the latter.

    It may not be a deterrent for those challenged with less than two brain cells to rub together but it would work as a wonderful preventive.

    It stops them from ever doing it again and would save the State a fortune policing football grounds.

  17. Silly really, all they had to do was put an omnibus edition of Eastenders on at kick off time and no one would have turned up anyway. Jeff Stoddart.

  18. A)The hell has the price your charged for the game, which is about average for premier league games in good seats got to do with it?
    B)Why are you blaming West Ham fans aswell? We’re not the ones going to game that involve us to “party”
    C)Your a **** team from up north or had the same fate a couple of seasons ago

  19. Absolutely hilarious, your friend’s sister’s cousin’s brother is spot on, loads of Millwall will be marauding through Upton park on Sunday, bullying frightened Sunday shoppers and Sunderland fans alike, we may eat some babies too.


  20. there will be no millwall fans at upton park only a group of total idiots who have no conception of what being a responsible fan is.

  21. Sunderland fans are always welcome to UP, you always bring good support unliike the Blackburns and Bolton of this world with three men and a dog on the terrace. Let’s hope the banter is good humoured and you will no doubt hear quite a few things said at our end about the shambolic bunch that run our club. That should keep you amused!

    Regards ticket prices we have been mugged off all season with stuipid prices so we all share your feelings on this one.

    I hope the morons from South of the Thames concentrate on their own club for once; the banner at Wigan i reluctantly admit was mildly amusing…now move on boys. I was at the WHU v Millwall match and it was like a throwback to the 70s, loads of pot-bellied 50 year olds, who haven’t been to game in twenty years, trying to kick each other’s heads in. Hopefully the Old Bill will round ’em all up and take them to a deserted island where they belong.

    Enjoy the game lads, someone has to!

  22. We’ll see. The two sources quoted are, in fact, dependable as far as I know and there is no special reason to doubt that they are accurately passing on what they’ve heard. Could even say a lot of police intelligence is based on less that that! In any case, it is right – whatever you think – that SAFC fans hoping for a peaceful day out should be aware of the possibility, however small we may all hope it to be, of trouble And I note that while you appear to be a WHU fan, by your email address, you make no attempt to defend the indefensible on the Sullivan/Gold ticket price mugging.

  23. “My sisters, friends, sons, cousin who knows the neighbour….” When you’ve got proper information rather than hear say and Chinese whispers, perhaps you should then be shaking in your boots rather than writing an article littered with more stereotypes than there are empty seats at the Stadium of Light! Grow up!

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