Colin Randall

A Mike Ashley model?
Picture: dgolfrabbit

Doesn’t the dress code in football directors’ boxes err on the side of restraint? Pete Sixmsith offers evenly balanced thoughts on a threatened breach of etiquette at this weekend’s Wear-Tyne derby

On the grapevine, I heard that Niall Quinn had written to the Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley asking him not to wear his legendary black and white shirt in the directors’ box when we play the Mags on Saturday.

Ashley, who has made a fortune with his sportswear, refused and said he intended to wear it to show solidarity with the fans.

Questioning the fact that to do that he would have to turn up with bare torso, covered in Toon Tattoos while waving his shoes around his head, I thought that once again it shows that whatever the Mags have got, it ain’t class.

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Ruthless self-assessment or not, Martin Emmerson, a BBC presenter and sports commentator as well as Sunderland fan, invites Salut! Sunderland to widen the audience for this damning photograph.

It was taken during a visit to Orkney, where he drew on all his reserves of professionalism to commentate on a local football match on the very day that SAFC were recording half their wins so far this season.

It was the opening game of the season when Martin, BBC Radio Newc**tle duties permitting, would normally have been in his seat in the West stand.

Instead of watching Michael Chopra’s last-gasp winner against Spurs, except on a pub television, he was reporting on the mighty Parish Cup Final between St Andrews and Sandwick at the “Pickie” centre in Kirkwall.

If you read on, you’ll see how the Sunderland Echo covered this bizarre diversion in its eminent local resident’s work. Guess who wrote it……and if you follow this link, you’ll see Martin’s essentially gloomy view – pre Fulham – of our prospects for the season.

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After Saturday’s dismal display against Fulham, opinion among the fans is divided, but only on the question of how dire a situation we have landed ourselves in. Pete Sixsmith is in the glum camp

As I sat in the East Stand watching the late afternoon sun sink over Southwick I thought I saw four ghostly figures hovering over the stadium.

I looked from face to face and they metamorphosed into Steve Caldwell, Kelvin Davies, Christian Bassila and Andy Gray. One of the spectres caught my eye and I am sure he mouthed the words: “You know, they’re no better than we were.”

Nodding in agreement, I watched them fade away into the ether, shaking their heads in disbelief at another error by the back four..

Jimmy Oakley: a look that suggests the kind of grit we need now
Picture: ylind ypind*

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Sunderland mosaic
Picture: Jon Hall*

What was it I said? A draw would not be enough? And that’s all we got. Does the fact that we did it with 10 men, with defeat staring us in the face, make it reasonable to reach a softer conclusion?

No, sadly, it does not.

Overlook the spirited finish, once Greg Halford had seen red for the second time in a season that been a personal catastrophe, and the reality is that this was an abysmal performance against a not very good team of the sort we have to beat if we are to stay up, let alone attain mid-table comfort.

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The joy of giving. That seems as good a theme as any at a time when supporters of Sunderland AFC, deprived of much of substance to cheer about in recent weeks, are in dire need of presents from the team.

Click on the picture and you’ll see what the poor woman in my faded old birthday card had to settle for. We don’t ask for much more; points on the board will do nicely.

Which brings us to Fulham at home. You don’t need a brain the size of a planet to see that we could hardly have a better opportunity to put an end to the worrying run of losing games. So if any of the Lads happen to be eavesdropping, the none too subtle hint is: deliver on Saturday.

A draw will not, I am afraid, be enough. Anything less than three points and even my heroic attempts to respond optimistically to the West Ham defeat, praising a second half performance that should have brought a first away win, will begin to look nonsensical.

I still think our squad, though in urgent need of strengthening, is much better than what we had during the last three relegation seasons. We are in better managerial hands (which does not make me a Peter Reid detractor; I just recognise that his value to SAFC evaporated after our second seventh top Premiership finish).

But as other fans have pointed out, this is beginning to resemble the Sunderland of Old, the relegation seasons where, match after match, we were losing despite playing reasonably well.

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Kenwyne in the wrong R&W stripes
Picture: Darren Sumner

Salut! Sunderland is in turmoil. After all I said at the Blackcats forum about us being desperately unlucky at West Ham, Pete Sixsmith weighs in with a completely different view

Disappointed…yes. Frustrated…definitely. Unlucky? Absolutely not.

Looking like a Premiership side at times. But heading back to the Championship, possibly, if we continue to waste opportunities like this.

Make no mistake, West Ham were there to be beaten. They were low on confidence, their fans are muted after last seasons shenanigans and they have resorted to signing ex-Mags who, as they always do, came back to haunt us.

I am loath to criticise Roy in case he comes to my house and stares at me in an even more intimidating way than Yosser Hughes. I don’t envisage Roy ever having to say “Gissa a job” but I do think he got his tactics and selection wrong on Sunday. There I’ve said it.

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If this picture* – no prizes for guessing when it was taken – captured our only moment of joy at West Ham, there would be no reason NOT to despair.

Losing 3-1 to a very average team at this stage of the season, with so few points chalked up, would normally inspire deep misgivings about the months to come.

But we know, and this is a view that must be shared by all neutrals in the watching world, that the game ought to have ended with not one but three points to Sunderland. If West Ham continue to enjoy the sort of luck they had on Sunday, they can look forward to qualifying for European competition.

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Michael Chopra – overdue a goal
Picture: Peadar O’Sullivan

Maybe it’s just that I’ve seen us play them so often. But games against West Ham always bring a stream of memories to mind.

One match at Upton Park that I didn’t see, I am relieved to say, was the one that finished West Ham 8 Sunderland 0, Geoff Hurst scoring six. If you are 39 today, you are just two days short of sharing your birthdate with the occasion of that slightly uneven contest. Correct me on that if you have historical records showing we were a shade unlucky.

At least they don’t make ’em like that any more, do they?

Just looked at Hammers Mad, an unofficial site, and totted up the predictions streaming in from their supporters.

You don’t expect massive objectivity on partisan sites – Salut! Sunderland apart, of course – but before we get to the noble, dissenting voice of HappyHammers4Eva, let me tell you that on a quiet day off in Abu Dhabi, I counted 16 Hammers plumping for 2-0, 15 for 2-1, 11 for 3-1, nine for 1-0, four for 3-0, three for 4-1 and one for 3-2. No, they aren’t away wins.

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You cannot spend all your free time in the glitzy shopping malls. There’s football to watch, too. But how often in my Abu Dhabi exile will I have to watch Luton v Northampton?

It may just be my bad luck, but every time I surf the TV stations in my hotel, or pop into a bar showing sports channels, I end up watching that game. I mean, there may have been five goals but PLEASE no more Hatters and Cobblers, whether the commentary comes in Arabic or English.

Needless to say, I have been ignoring England’s latest sporting setback and exploring the options for catching our game at Upton Park live on Sunday. Sunday is a working day in the Emirates but the three-hour time difference means I should be away in time to see it live.

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World Cup glory, Durham style

So what do you do on a blank Saturday? Pete Sixsmith reminisced about boyhood and “real Rugby”, then soaked up the spirit of the FA Cup.

Another week off for international games and another week without the fix of an SAFC game.

Some of us (me and Colin) are old enough to remember the days when you had to have at least three players involved in internationals before you could apply to the FA for a postponement.

If Martin Harvey, John Parke and Johnny Crossan were playing for Northern Ireland we got a Saturday off. On the other hand, if none of those was selected, but Neil Martin was picked for Scotland we had to play. The opposition had probably lost at least one as well so you got a decent game.

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