Salut! Sunderland’s Week: Newcastle, managerial class and the karaoke contest winner

... as sung, with a sparkle in his eye, by Jon Guy

You all know what has been in the news, and therefore dominating Salut! Sunderland, this week. If you want to recap on the derby, there is loads to see and all is highlighted on the home page: www.salutsunderland.com. There are also two great reads from Liverpool supporters ahead of today’s game.

Much of the Tyne-Wear derby controversy was summed up in one image, and two of the comments posted here by Newcastle supporters – one called Helen, the other Troy but neither pushing a Trojan horse:

Helen:

Face up to the fact that Cattermole lacks the ability of tiote on virtually all levels, and he tries to compensate for this by being a dirty player. He is a liability. Tiote over reacted to the elbow. but that doesn’t retract from the fact it was a clear red card and an idiotic thing for sessignon to do. Cattermole berated the ref and got what he deserved it was pointless and beyond stupid considering there is a cup tie round the corner. I have heard so many Sunderland fans blaming the ref or blaming tiote without looking at their own players shortcomings. And why are people blaming the ref for the fact the points were dropped …

No one was blaming the ref, Helen. And I bow without question to Tioté’s supreme acting ability, performed with such unnecessary generosity given that the red card was already on its way out of Mike Dean’s pocket.

And Troy:

Despite what you say about others round the country having no interest in our local Derby, you may find that Newcastle have a big following from non Geordies. Unlike Sunderland, they were never anyone’s second favourite team.

He does not put it very well but means that unlike Sunderland, Newcastle appeal to loads of neutral fans who cheerfully make them their second team. He clearly has not been reading the Salut! Sunderland “Who are You?” series where one opposing fan after another talks of much preferring us to them (in so far as they care at all). They cannot all be trying to humour us.

And the managerial class? This gem from Jake has A Love Supreme salivating, with Monsieur Salut tracked down on the French autoroute and Jake in the Spanish provinces for permission – readily granted – to reproduce it…

Jake at his finest

But that is now water under our respective bridges. Salut! Sunderland’s Week otherwise has the unfinished business of the recent karaoke competition, and a winner to announce.

When Salut! Sunderland launches a competition, there is no need to take cover in case of a stampede of entries. But we usually receive enough to make the effort seem worthwhile.

Such was the case with my request for anecdotes about karaoke. What is yours, I asked, and what is the story behind it?

Several potential winners surfaced.

Vincent Richardson started unpromisingly with a blunt “I hate Karaoke”. But he still produced a good tale:

I have only had the misfortune of doing it once (under protest) … at a football do in South Shields, as usual it was half Newcastle and half Sunderland fans….only one I thought appropriate……. The Monkees’ Daydream Believer, which I dedicated to my Black and White “friends”…changing the odd word here and there

Joan came up with:

Although the locals’ English was excellent, it did crack me up when they started on the Simon and Garfunkel number – Hello Dennis, my old friend

Not really karaoke but Jake produced a classic story you may not find in any Bo Diddley biography:

Bo ... before he teamed up with Jake
Early 80s, rhythm & blues/rock & roll legend Bo Diddley was playing in Sunderland. It was at the former Boilermakers club down by St Peter’s church, it had been transmogrified into a nightclub of sorts (it may have been called Close Encounters)and me and my workmate, a teddy boy from Boldon Colliery called Glen Miller (real name) met in the Wheatsheaf at opening time to get ready (ie “tanked up”) for the gig. By the time Bo took to the stage we were well refreshed and several songs into his set and emboldened by drink I decided Bo needed a backing singer, so I clambered up on stage and started singing into the guitarist’s mic. Now then, at this point I should have been booted from the stage, but to his credit, Bo (big lad, cowboy hat, square guitar) beckoned me over to him, then for a glorious minute or so I sang into the same mic as the legend himself

And Sobs:

Always On My Mind: I used to get calls from a pub, “the karaoke’s not getting going, can you pop across?”. I did a whistling section instead of the instrumental break, and it never failed to get things going. I remember following it up with Ain’t No Stopping Us Now – SAFC 92 version (landlord was one of us) on a few occasions … haven’t done it for a while now, but it’s still there, lurking.

And there were more: go to this link and you will find the ones quoted above and contributions and confessions from Eric, Malcolm, Mike Sixsmith, Jeremy, James Stevenson, Vincent (again) and Hilary.

But this, from Jon Guy, had to be the winner with this piece of tragi-comedy:

A fair few years ago I was on a business trip to Iceland and at the end of a day touring the island we all attended a black tie dinner where the entertainment was the band which had represented Iceland in that year’s eurovision song contest.

Quite frankly the female lead singer was stunning and I mentioned to our host that i was a bit of a frustrated singer. She immediately thought it would be great if I got up with the band in front of 450 drunk insurance brokers.

Thinking on my feet I mentioned It’s Not Unusual … they had the music and the keyboard player headed off to the car to get it. I then belt out a version with the stunning blonde they then demand an encore which is duly delivered and naturally I think that when the band finishes its set I can chat with the singer, dreaming of a night that will never end in the land of 24/7 daylight. However it turns out that apart from being a pop star this girl is also a leading campaigner for lesbian rights in Iceland!!! Crestfallen I think nothing of it until the following year when I am at our league game verses Manchester United at Old Trafford to be confronted by another fan who screams: “It’s you, that Tom Jones bloke in Iceland.” It wasn’t the sort of screaming reaction I was hoping for but I suppose that’s not unusual!!!!

One Martin O’Neill mug is yours, Jon. I will be in touch for an address.

And Ha’way the Lads versus Liverpool at the Stadium of Light …

Monsieur Salut
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11 thoughts on “Salut! Sunderland’s Week: Newcastle, managerial class and the karaoke contest winner”

  1. That’s a hard one s-mav, but I think I’ll go for Alan Shearer – preferably with a chain saw.
    Stiil dislike Newcastle United immensly – on a par with Margaret Thatcher and the British National Party.

  2. s-mav. Isn’t there a NUFC site you can grace with your presence? This is primarily a site for Sunderland supporters to air their views. Fans of other clubs are generally welcome as long as they have something interesting or intelligent to say. You fail on both counts.

  3. Enlighten us,s-mav, how many opposing players legs HAS Cattermole broken? We await your answer with bated breath!!!
    Obsessed with Newcastle? No – we (I) just dislike them intensely. A healthy relationship. I think.
    O’ Neill or Pardew? Class against rags, as an old colleague of mine used to say.

    • Well a quick trawl of the internet it would appear that the answer is 1! Maybe I should do some research BEFORE posting! He’s still a dirty get though, mind you what can you expect from supporters who idolise useless second division cloggers like Kevin Ball!
      Like I said before it’s understandable Sunderland fans have such an obsession or as you put an intense dislike for NUFC, it must be hard knowing you closest rivals are more sucessful and better supported than you!
      Here is a better researched question for you:
      Who has scored the most European goals Alan Shearer in the 2004-5 season or Sunderland AFC in their entire history? CLUE: Mackems are very rarely spotted in Milan!

  4. Like a lot of Sunderland fans you are clearly obsessed with Newcastle! I guess it’s understandable, it must be annoying having neighbours who have won more trophies, played European football, have more fans, won more derbies etc, etc! Have you ever considered that the other fans on the ‘who are you’ sections might be giving slightly skewed answers? If you read similar sections on NUFC websites you’ll find that the fans strangely seem to prefer NUFC to SAFC! Your defense of Cattermole and O’Neill is ridiculous. Cattermole is a thug, how many times has he broken an opposing players leg? As far O’Neill he was hardly blameless in the argument with Pardew. It is nice to see MON is turning SAFC into a Leicester-lite, you play ugly football, but you get results.

  5. The problem with most Sunderland fans including you is that you are totally besotted with Newcastle United it’s more important to you lot that you finish above us no matter what. I’m more interested in how high the toon can finish even to the point of hoping you Mackems beat Liverpool today & we can get at least a point at Arsenal. I think it’s time you Mackems grew up and moved in to the 21st century.

    • And the problem with Geordiedoonsooth is that he is wrong, The derby matters, to me and to you and to countless others. I shall now stop thinking about Newcastle until it matters once more to think about them. I have explained before why it is I think the less moronic kind of NUFC supporter is drawn here – I cannot imagine you, for example, bothering with a Sunderland version of True Faith – and I also expect you now to depart, since the next Tyne-Wear derby is some way away.

    • All fair comment and, of course, constructively intended. But a lot of people from both sides of the Tyne-Wear divide like reading about our games, including build-up and aftermath, as is witnessed by the huge surge in readership.And in a week when the editor of this site had no internet access for three days, you’ve also had two cracking Liverpool previews. As if you cared!

  6. Oh lovely a site that invites other supporters to voice their opinion’s then selects a specific sample of them in order to voice their own club support agenda.How enlightening and how novel ! Oh and don’t forget to take your 12th man today “The Beach Ball”

  7. Do you ever give up writing about Newcastle?? anybody would think you support them the way you keep vomiting these story’s.
    C’mon and change the record, it used to be a good read here, but it’s getting rather boring these days

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