M Salut is heading along the road to join a 45,000-strong crowd watching Coldplay warm up for the SoL with a concert in Nice. While he’s away at the gig, you can come up with a prize-winning gag …
What is it with magpies and Kent? Perhaps some less ornitholologically challenged reader of Salut! Sunderland can explain why they keep falling from the skies, usually right in front of our friend Rob.
Rob, determined to complete the process of bankrupting this site that has been gathering pace since Monsieur Salut started offering mugs as guess-the-score prizes, suggests a little caption competition.
Go on then. Come up with an appropriate one-liner and I’ll come up with a prize. It may be a mug, it may be the dreaded three folk CDs chosen at random from the thousands in my possession; we’ll have to see how the funds are looking once the competition closes one week today (ie noon, UK time, on Tuesday May 29).
Without wishing to reopen wounds suffered by its loved ones, this is the poor little sod that inspired the last such competition a couple of seasons back with a fatal landing in Rob’s office car park …
And of course, those were unhappier times for Mags more generally. So none of the following captions, submitted then, would quite work any more:
* “The thought of another relegation battle has left me feeling a bit flat” (Eric Bowers)
* “For the start of the new season, this Mag took the phrase ‘You’ve got to hit the ground running’ a bit too literally” – (Jonny M)
* Wake up Maggie I think I’ve got something to say to you. (Neil A)
* That’s right. Magpies have no chance of staying up! (Ian Clarkson)
* …and don’t EVER try texting Andy Carroll’s girlfriend again!(Gringo Purves)
Gringo, alias Michael Stokes, was the winner. He’s never forgiven us for the folk CDs.
See if you can outwit him …
** Newcastle United fans are more than welcome to enter. But this is a bit of fun so anyone using the word ”obsess”, or any derivative, will be disqualified. But don’t worry of your entry is held ”for moderation”. It will still qualify – subject to the usual rules of decency etc.
Difficult choice but I think the best was saved for last. CSB, when I get round to it, will win the prize for his variation on FTM and I may even write about it. Avoiding mention of Newcastle in the headline spared me a lot of work …
Simple one “FTM’
or ‘ Start of the 2013 Season and the Magpies fail to hit the ground running, but they hit the ground’,
‘FTM’ means flatten the magpies in this instance or it could work equally just being the usual insult
Magpie dies of shock after seeing Stan Cummin’s shirt and realising he really was THAT small!
‘Cheeky magpie got more than he bargained for when asking passing mademoiselle for a little strip’
After soaring high through last season magpies hit a problem with a bit of unexpected fallout.
Six weeks after dropping points at Man City and the lads are still spitting feathers
This block paving is not as soft as I thought it was.
“…The North-East’s top two go looking for Joey Barton…”
‘Sing when you’re winging
You only sing when you’re winging’
Location: South Shields. “I f@cking told you not to call me a Mackem again.”
*I* had to fight without spurs
The projected future of The Mags through image; Cisse and Cabaye are sold and they come crashing back down to earth!
Ref! Penalty!!
Mmm,a first-class Chiek Tiote impression.
I was going to say “lying in the gutter but looking at a star” but Phil Johnson beat me, so I’ll say
Someone didn’t eat all the pies.
maybe M. Salut will explain
OR!
Is this low enough sir?
OR! (from a, possible mags view).
You may think you have beaten me – BUT your tackle is up for grabs!
We both may be in the gutter but I will recover!
A shirt to die for!
‘Poor thing knew he couldn’t stay that high for long’