Without needing to try too hard, we can place Sunderland vs Middlesbrough and a handful of other games between now and Saturday firmly in the context of Championship ups and downs.
If Boro had three more points than their current total of 51, they would be in the top six. The playoffs would once again seem attainable. And they would stay there provided neither Bristol City tonight (home to fifth-top Fulham) and Sheffield Utd on Friday (at Hull City) could do more than draw.
Now where would those three Boro points be most likely to come from? Surely we are not thinking of Fortress Stadium of Light where proud, committed men of the calibre of Jack Rodwell ply their trade.
Now look at our end of the table.
We need Sheff Utd to win that game at Hull. We require Millwall to win at Burton, Norwich to see off Bolton at home and, arguably, Birmingham and Barnsley to draw.
Then, entering the realms of fantasy, a Sunderland win against Boro would take us to the lofty heights of third bottom, on equal points with Hull but labouring with a wretchedly inferior goal difference (unless you feel Hull losing by nine and us winning by nine seems a feasible prospect), while keeping us in touch with Birmingham, Bolton and possibly also Reading, who have Derby at home on Saturday.
Whatever you do, don’t bet on any of the encouraging elements of those fairytale calculations happening. And let us leave to one side whether we actually deserve a break.
Pete Sixsmith and John McCormick, of this parish, witnessed the latest defeat, 1-0 at Bolton. Forget the row over the goal; we don’t lose these games purely because officials make a couple of bad decisions. We lose them, even to seriously bad sides as Sixer and Mac found Wanderers to be, because we cannot properly compete even at this level.
Accordingly, as a first step in a mini-protest movement, Salut! Sunderland launches a Guess the Score work-to-rule for SAFC vs Boro.
Only a scoreline correctly predicting a home win will qualify for a prize.
Yes, that is tough on Boro supporters who, even as I write, were forming an orderly queue to enter winning scorelines for their team and had their hearts set on whatever Boro-themed coffee mug Monsieur Salut could come up with from our suppliers, Personalised Football Gifts, up in Weardale.
But these are desperate times calling for desperate measures. Another failure to score more goals than the opposition may lead to the prize being withdrawn altogether for the rest of the season or until we start winning (whichever comes sooner).
On which point, with a strangled little Ha’way the Lads, we declare the competition open.
Rules are simple: the first correct Sunderland-to-win forecast to be posted wins the prize. No other predicted result will be eligible and the winner must have a UK delivery address.
The eternal optimist says in for a penny in for a pound can’t get any worse can it luck has to change sometime 4-0 to the lads
Can’t for the life of me see Sunderland, with our so called professional footballers, getting anything from this game. Clear Boro win.
However in keeping with the competition rules it’s Sunderland 4 – 3 Boro. If I am fortunate enough to win, which is as likely as Jack Rodwell putting in a canny performance for the under 23’s, I would like to donate my mug to the crowd-funding effort to by the Club from Ellis Short for 50 million, come on lads and lasses, dig deep you know it makes sense!!!!!
This is either the time for one of our mini 3 game good runs (2 draws and 1 win) – OR, and much more likely, the 6th game in our usual relegation season form of no wins for the rest of the season. I’m predicting an i – i draw.
Bill – see an earlier comment – has kindly offered to buy a prize mug for a winner opting for a draw. 2-2 is taken – by him
Seeing that we have to pick a Sunderland winning score, I’ll choose 4-2.
Now that fantasy is out the way, 3-1 to the smogmonsters.
The Lads to win 3-2.
Boro strikers have actually scored for the first time this year so maybe they’ll get a goal or two against Blunderland.
But then again Boro winning two in a row? No we will probably huff and puff and fail to put a very poor Sunderland to the sword.
3 – 1 to the Lads
3 – 0. The revival starts at home to the Chemical Brothers. Please donate my mug to a deserving Smog Monster (although how you drink tea or coffee whilst wearing a gas mask is beyond me).
This Pi%%takes getting a little bit tired now so why not take a look at the UK gov clean air table.
If you have the ability to count past your fingers and toes you will see you would be better off keeping your gas mask on at home and only taking it off when you visit Teesside and North Yorks area.
If it’s any consolation Newcastle is even worse than Sunderland, you will have to travel to Northumberland to breath fresh air.
Please post a link and I will be more than happy to.
Calm down woody, one of your brethren – the late smoggie- revelled in the banter and he is fondly remembered by us when this fixture comes around.
I am calm david, it’s not my club that’s going down this year, it’s yours.
As you love to keep telling us we are just a small town in Yorkshire while you are a big club.
A big club who have dropped two divisions in two seasons and the last time you won silverware it was recorded in black and white on Pathe news.
1-1 but we need wins.
It’s clear then, 4-3 to The Lads.
2-0, McGeady & Asoro
1-0 to Sunderland from me.
2-2 to the lads.
9-0 to Sunderland then. What the hell, it’s as likely as 1-0.