Memo to Ellis Short: how it feels – thank heavens for the Lasses

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Photo courtesy of the Sunderland Women's Football Club*
Photo courtesy of the Sunderland Women’s Football Club*

If you want to re-inject into your lives a little pride in being a Sunderland supporter, consider this:
P W D L GD PTS
1 Sunderland 12 9 3 0 27 30
2 Watford 12 7 4 1 12 25
3 Leeds United 11 7 1 3 8 22
Yes, the Lasses won yet again, at Barnet, and are now five points clear at the top of the FA Women’s Premier League. Back to them shortly. Mick Goulding, meanwhile, had his weekend football a few miles away in west London. This, from the Blackcats list, is his account of heroic efforts at QPR to prevent a rare London excursion being completely ruined by the Sunderland team running out …

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The Chapman Report from QPR: watching SAFC needs a government health warning

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Bob gets his very own graphic, courtesy of Jake
Jake asks Bob: a day to remember?

Bob Chapman once again fills Sixer’s outsized shoes to report on a game the master chose to miss. It started as a day when Bob and a friend would impress two young Aussie women with a scintillating show by Sunderland preceded by the delights of a west London gastro-pub. Something went wrong; they endured takeaway KFCs in a foodless boozer near the Bush and the poor Aussies may never set foot in another football ground. Meanwhile, Bob was left feeling there’s something damaging to the health in watching SAFC at this stage of a season …

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Sunderland not at the races at QPR; Sixer sees an Ascot canter

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Jake's wrong: Sixer was grinning at Ascot (with the odd grimace whenever he checked his texts)
Jake’s wrong: Sixer was grinning at Ascot (with the odd grimace whenever he checked his texts)

You couldn’t actually escape from Sunderland-induced misery at QPR; L’Equipe’s TV channel kept annoying Monsieur Salut by highlighting the game for no better reason than the former Marseille striker Loic Remy’s goal. Earlier Pete Sixsmith, gratefully playing truant to watch a rampant Shildon in the FA Vase replay at Ascot United, had been bombarded with texts on the grim proceedings to his east. He reckons M Salut’s late dad, the Shildon club secretary for several years, would have been as proud of the Railwaymen as we were aghast at SAFC’s labours …

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After abject surrender at QPR, let’s all drink to Lisa

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Jake says it all
Jake says it all

Some Sunderland fans have more reason than others to complain.

Jeremy Robson peeps out from his self-imposed wilderness – and how we miss him – to denounce “another dreadful performance and result”. He’s in Canada. So is Bill Taylor, anticipating Martin O’Neill’s post-match e-mail and the dreaded D-word: “Martin, before you say it, we’re ALL disappointed. In fact, some of us are gutted.” Yep, the D-word was there.

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Martin’s Musings on QPR 3 Sunderland 1: change the record Martin

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Jake’s imagination

Malcolm Dawson (who gets a copy of M Salut’s personal e-mail) writes…
Another away sell out (and home sell out to be fair) and another disappointing day out for the travelling contingent. The manager continues to find a positive spin, but the faithful are getting fed up with the same old excuses. “The opposition were buoyant after a win, we had to deal with the home crowd, we had players out of position and though we bossed the game we still lost.” Well questions are being asked. We had two full backs named as substitutes and two midfielders playing at fullback. We didn’t have a single forward on the bench as three started and you decided to allow the only other one we had at the end of January to go out on loan. We assume that you don’t rate our young players. So who decides to play people out of position? At least we had a full quota of players this week but we are looking a poor side Martin and looking at the teams below us. Next Sunday is a must win. Better get the spin doctors working overtime just in case.

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Sixer’s Sevens: QPR 3 SAFC 1. Two volleys and a funeral

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Jake gives Sixer star billing
Jake gives Sixer star billing

This is where Pete Sixsmith usually records his instant verdict, in seven words, on each Sunderland game. Today, wise man, he was in posh Ascot watching Shildon win 4-1 in an FA Vase replay. So he missed a dreadful reverse, 3-1, at Loftus Road. The verdict came from his phone, and accurately sums up what Monsieur Salut saw, but may have been relayed from someone at the game, hence – either way – the asterisk. From a winning position, albeit against the run of play, Sunderland produced as bad a performance as you’ll see in the Premier League and deservedly lost to a cool Remy finish from a(n) (un)lucky O’Shea deflection and then two fine volleys from outside the box by two Spurs refugees, Townsend and Jenas. Funeral? Maybe premature but it’s going to be tight as we attempt to prevent our Premier status being buried …

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Salut! Podcast: a discussion on Sunderland’s trip to QPR

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This may well be the first and last podcast that goes out to you lucky Salut! Sunderland regulars, writes Stephen Goldsmith. It’s an idea I’ve been toying with for a while and it may seem bizarre that it finally appears near the Easter period of the season.

Well, it is what it is in that respect and coming up with something from now until the end of the season means the summer break offers a chance of reflection and improvement. So, this is the dummy runs of all dummy runs – so try not to be too offensive on any feedback you may give. For this week, the link takes you to Soundcloud where it can be listened to and downloaded from there – though we will look into better or alternative options to that that in the proceeding weeks.

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How Dare We? Will the real Gareth Bale, Tottenham’s sinning saint, stand up?

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Jake suspects Salut! Sunderland is up to making mischief
Jake suspects Salut! Sunderland is up to making mischief

Salut! Sunderland has always felt perfectly entitled to stick its nose into other people’s business. We’re Sunderland supporters but also have views on football generally, whether it’s Pete Sixsmith after one of his non-league excursions or Ken Gambles demanding compulsory wearing of pink mittens by shirtpullers and goggles by divers of all teams. These impertinent observations will henceforth appear under the How Dare We? banner. Did I say something about divers? ….

The look of pained innocence on Gareth Bale’s face was priceless. “Me! Dive? You’ve got the wrong man, guv,” you could almost hear him telling the ref, Antonio Miguel Mateu Lahoz though plain Antonio Mateu will do.

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QPR v Sunderland: hoops or stripes, guess the score whoever you support

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'The usually tight git's giving one away without strings for a change', says Jake
‘The usually tight git’s giving one away without strings for a change’, says Jake


Is it past midnight? Then let’s begin this week’s Guess the Score.

I live in hope that one of our moneyed readers will one day come up with meaningful prizes for the little competitions. In the meantime, I am once again offering a Martin O’Neill mug to the first person who correctly posts the outcome of tomorrow’s game at Loftus Road. Before kickoff, that is.

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