Monsieur Salut writes: Pete Sixmsith wrote – with his customary command of detail, style and humour – on the delights of Goodison. But he wasn’t there to send his traditional seven-word instant verdict. In his absence, the task fell to our associate editor John McCormick (we use asterisks to signal a supersub for Pete). John will doubtless have more to say about our 3-0 defeat, dumping us out of the League Cup. An Everton fan site mentioned beforehand that our team had players totalling more Everton appearances between them than their own. That, it could be argued, is why those players are now with us. As Gary Bennett put it (Barnes & Benno, BBC Radio Newcastle), the plus side for Simon Grayson was probably limited to ‘no injuries’ (there was something else, maybe about a rare goalscoring chance, but it’s now been forgotten). The home side, he said, “won at a canter” …
Monsieur Salut introduces another prize edition of Guess rhe Score and promises belated movement on the backlog of winners …
As we hover just above the relegation zone despite ending the losing run, there is just one consolation: it’s a different relegation zone with names like Brentfor, Burmingham and Bolton instead of Palace, Bournemouth and – would you believe it, Jordan? – Everton.
Happy man: Gary Clark at the playoff final at Wembley, April 2014
For the second part of Gary Clark‘s* epic replies to Salut! Sunderland‘s questions – in fact not always replies but speeches, so don’t be surprised if the response does not always seem to correspond to the question – we take a long look at the wretched relations between ownership and club. We whinge about Ellis Short; for Hull City supporters, the problems may be deeper. But Gary also has time – lots of it – to exorcise a grudge against Arsenal and Mike Riley …
Colin Randall writes: I’d quite forgotten that when the estimable Hull City-supporting author Gary Clark* does Who are You? interviews, his clear intention is to out-Tolstoy Tolstoy for length. It’s great craic and much appreciated. But the sheer torrent of words forces me, not for the first time (Gary has been this way before), to split the resulting article into a more manageable two parts. In the first, Gary gives his lowdown on relegation, the season’s prospects, Seb and Elmo and the city of Hull’s once-hidden charms …
Malcolm Dawson writes……..here in the latest instalment of his series in which, prior to an away game, he recalls the first visit he made to the home(s) of our upcoming opponents, strong PeteSixsmith looks back on previous outings to the UK City of Culture that is Kingston upon Hull.
TFTEISYG HULL CITY.
One of the big disappointments of Hull City’s first promotion to the Premier League was that they were no longer the answer to the question “Which is the biggest city in England never to have had a team in the top division?” although they are the answer to the question “Which is the only club in the 92 where you cannot colour in any of the letters!?”
Jake: ‘you may have seen this one before – M Salut just deleted the date’
So we are on a run of four successive defeats. The alarm bells are not so much ringing as cracking into many pieces due to the sheer volume of their sound.
And Hull? Hammered at Derby, beaten in midweek at Fulham, their own dip in form undoing the relatively good work of earlier in what is still early in the season. When I set the Who are You? questions to Hull City fan and author Gary Clark – stand by for answers stretching to War and Peace length – the Tigers were just behind the top six. Now they’re 16th, just four places above us.
Monsieur Salut writes: Charlie Whebell was just 64 when he died at the beginning of this month. He was not a Sunderland supporter but a Hammer through and through and right down to his solid East End roots. He was a treasured colleague, both in London and Abu Dhabi, and his presence, sparkle and wit seemed to enrich the lives of all who came across him.
Not one of us maybe, but his beautiful words – Charlie was a gifted writer – did grace these pages just 16 months ago, when he mused poignantly from the Middle East on his sense of loss at the end of an era, West Ham’s final home game at the Boleyn or, as we call it, Upton Park. He said later that he recognised Sunderland supporters, by implication the older ones with their memories of Roker Park, as kindred spirits.
Read it in full at this link and you will see why it was warmly received by our readers.
Charlie was looking forward to lots of golf and football in retirement. Illness put paid to that, with cruel haste. But wherever Charlie was known, among friends still in the UAE or dispersed around the word (many of whom knew him far better than I ever did), glasses have been raised in his honour. I raise mine now …
Paul Summerside: staying away until a certain individual departs
Monsieur Salut writes: I detected little optimism in close season about our prospects for a quick return to the Premier League, Hope, yes, but we always suffer from that. I imagine you’d get pretty long odds just now on us recovering from a dismal start and getting back up. As things stand, there’s more chance of winning something playing live casino games than of the present bunch of players leading a determined charge on the top six, let alone the top two.
But we can probably all agree the start to the season has been rather more dismal than most of us expected. Pete Sixsmith’s second goal update from the Stadium of Light reported the start of the exodus vs Sheffield United. And now Paul Summerside, briefly optimistic about the Simon Grayson era, has returned to the sulky gloom he experienced as Sunderland wasted everyone’s time last season (the old Jeremy Robson joke – ‘shall we just fax the points to you and save us all the trouble of staging or attending a game?’- rang true week after week).
Paul has sparked a lively debate at the Salut! Sunderland Facebook group* on the correct response, as he sees it, to the terrible malaise afflicting our club. His is drastic …
Dave Eyre: the Blade who lifted the Champions League trophy**
On a train somewhere during a long trip to the United States, our Sheffield United interviewee Dave Eyre* will try to find wifi access to events at the Stadium of Light. He predicts an uneventful season for both clubs, a win on Saturday for the Blades. United are an interesting club and Dave, an academic and folk music broadcaster, is an interesting man. These are fascinating and thought-provoking responses to the Salut! Sunderland questions though we can surely quarrel with his assertion that the United-Wednesday rivalry is more intense than Sunderland-Newcastle …
Salut! Sunderland: So how will Sheffield United do on their return to the second tier and can they ever return to the top?
Dave Eyre: I expect this year to be one of consolidation. It’s taken a while – six years – to get back into this division. Looking at the money being spent by some clubs we will not be competing via the transfer stakes and buying our way further up. But we have a great academy with some superb prospects and if Huddersfield can do it why not? We have a history as a First Division/Premiership club; brilliant facilities ready for the Premier League; and the first ever goal scored in the Premier League was at Bramall Lane – Brian Deane against Manchester United. We won 2-1.
Jake: ‘haway, Monsieur Salut, get your finger out, there’s as many winners waiting for prizes as the Lads had home wins last season ‘
On a mid-December day in 2016, 40,267 souls were recorded as being present when, shortly after 4pm, Patrick van Aanholt, scored the goal that proved a winner against Watford at the Stadium of Light. Sunderland have not won a home game since.
Simon Grayson has had only two SoL games in charge so can hardly be blamed for this lamentable state of affairs. David Moyes can be blamed a lot, as can our want-away ower Ellis Short and his hired-to-be-stingy chief executive Martin Bain.
Can we break this wretched duck – no home wins in a year now in its ninth month – against Sheffield United?
TFTEISYG HULL CITY.
