We were just about to call a halt to the festivities and get on to some serious reflection on the mess that has been our season, and how we should now proceed. Then, a quick look at the geordies.net website revealed, to the left of a list of perfectly sensible headlines above stories of interest to Mags contemplating a downsized lifestyle, a typically mindless slice of abuse aimed by one of its readers at Sunderland AFC. So Pete Sixsmith gets special dispensation to offer a guide to the 10 things we should not do for fear of causing further upset to our grieving neighbours …
DO NOT ON ANY ACCOUNT
Go the top floor of Fenwicks, get in the lift to descend and every time it stops at a floor, shout “Going down”.
Ring Setanta TV and order their most expensive package. Just before they are about to clinch the deal tell then you’re a Mag and ask if they have Championship Football next season. Then cancel.
Ring the Malmaison Hotel on the Quayside and ask them if you can book the most expensive suite in the hotel for the weekend Manchester United are in town