Colin Randall

With only two games left, Bolton seemed a tap-in. Not our prospects of victory, but Salut! Sunderland‘s chances of finding a fan to write the last but one Who Are They? of the season (we have the Arsenal game covered already). Proper club, proper fans….they’d be forming an excited queue, especially after the late dash for safety, for such an opportunity to wax lyrical about their team. No such thing, or rather not at first. Appeals to Bolton fan sites, the supporters’ association, the local newspaper, my former colleague and Wanderers fan Ian Jones all met with deafening silence. So much for that belief that Bolton was a Real Club. Just when I thought we’d have to make do with a piece poking fun at them for their inability to string a few words together, Sluffy popped up, not exactly from nowhere but from one of the sites – Walking Down the Manny Road – where messages had been posted in the hope of luring a wise or witty Bolton fan into our corner of the web. Thank you, Sluffy*. And before I could add “shame on your fellow fans”, a flurry of messages (from Ian, a supporters’ association stalwart and someone at the local paper) suggested we could have them coming out of our ears. We’ve chosen two, so let Sluffy kick off the proceedings….

My first recollection of a Sunderland connection with Bolton was when we signed one of your heroes, Charlie Hurley, way back in 1971/2.

Charlie was at the end of his career when he joined us, so he might have been a legend back at the Roker but he was more a leg end at Burnden.

  Charlie Hurley 
  Picture: krisread

Then two seasons later a young chap with the name of Sam was given his debut; I always rated him more as a clogger than a Bolton legend as a player, but Mr Allardyce turned into the most successful manager for my club in over half a century.

We returned the favour for having one of your legends – a big centre-back at the end of his career by you ending up with BSA (Big Sam Allardyce) – our big centre-back at the end of his.

Big Sam scored a cracker of a goal against you at Christmas time in 1975. A more powerfully headed goal I yet to see. A great game that we won but the crowd that day was amazing, you must have brought 20,000 down that day. I’ve never seen support like that before.

As you can tell from my memories I am an old fart, who moved away from Bolton before the Reebok had ever been dreamt about. Give me traditional the terracing and the craic with opposition fans anyday instead of the sterile stadiums we have these days.

Anyway time and tide waits for no man.

In recent times though, I guess you could say that we have both been a couple of yo-yo clubs, bobbing up from the Championship for a season or so, then bobbing back down again.

The last time I sat through a life Sunderland v Bolton game was from the comfort of a pub a few years back when McCarthy took charge of you for the first time – we did you that day – just like we are going to do you on Saturday. The game is on the box too. Seeing as I live miles away from Notlob these days, its about the only way I get to see the boys play at the Reebok.

A special mention for another Sunderland/Bolton connection would be for a talented player for us and a successful manager for you (at least for a season or two).

If I mention the Monkeys’ song Day Dream Believer and a line starting “Cheer up…..”,0 then I’m sure you will know who I’m referring to (I believe his daughter is a bonny lass too!).

OK, here are some answers to your questions….

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We promised something special from the Boro match, and here it is. Pete Sixsmith was plucked from his East Stand perch and installed in grander environs. There he rubbed shoulders with Sir Bobby Robson, Steve McLaren, Niall Quinn et al, had a privileged seat for a pulsating game, somehow avoided heart failure in the excitement of the finale………and lived to tell this memorable tale

Like Ronnie Corbett in The Frost Report, circa 1966, I know my place. At the Stadium of Light, it is in the East Stand, Row 30, Seat 404 – and a pretty good place it is too. Good company and thoughtful, intelligent neighbours makes the matchday experience a rewarding one, particularly if we win.

However, every so often, I am taken out of my natural habitat and allowed to see how the upper echelons of our beloved club live and work.

For the Boro game, Joan Dawson and I were the guests of John and Irene Hays. John is vice chairman of the club that he has supported all his life, the only local man in the Drumaville Consortium and also the owner of Hays Travel, while Irene is the chief executive of South Tyneside Council and as loyal and dedicated a fan as you would find anywhere.

We were guests in the Boardroom and Directors’ Lounge, the inner sanctum of the club. Excellent food, excellent red wine and a chance to rub shoulders with the likes of Sir Bobby Robson, Steve McClaren, Chris Kamara, various members of the consortium and the man who put it all together, the amazing Niall Quinn.

Sir Bobby attends most home games as a guest of the club and apparently feels more at home at the Stadium than at any other club in the North East. Interesting. He also looked well for a man with his health problems, was very positive about some upcoming treatment and said he was looking forward to watching us storm the Premier League next season or maybe I misheard him on that one.

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  Daryl Murphy 
  Salut! Murphy.. Peadar O’Sullivan

It is been a tough season for anyone needing to watch the high blood pressure. But after fighting like tigers to grab a thoroughly deserved victory against Boro, we are safe at last. The relief and joy yesterday’s result brought to Salut! Sunderland‘s corner of the Arabian desert may well have been felt and heard on Wearside.

So let us salute a team – indeed a squad – that has risen above technical imperfection to play, for the most part, with passion and guts and produce, time after time, victories and draws out of thin air as seconds tick away.

13 Sunderland 36 9 3 6 23 20 2 3 13 13 36 -20 39
14 Wigan 36 8 5 5 21 15 1 5 12 11 34 -17 37
15 Middlesbrough 36 5 5 7 17 22 3 7 9 16 30 -19 36
16 Bolton 36 6 5 7 21 18 2 4 12 12 35 -20 33
17 Reading 36 8 2 8 19 24 1 4 13 18 41 -28 33
18 Birmingham 36 5 8 5 26 22 2 3 13 16 37 -17 32
19 Fulham 36 4 5 9 20 31 2 7 9 15 29 -25 30
20 Derby 35 1 5 11 10 33 0 3 15 7 43 -59 11

Pete Sixsmith’s detailed report is keenly awaited. More accustomed to the common man’s experience of football, he attended yesterday’s game in style. This was his report for today’s Observer newspaper (he also marked the team and his ratings appear as a footnote*):

In the end, it was again the unsung artisans of the team that secured a victory just when it was needed: Danny Higginbotham’s headed equaliser immediately after Boro’s potentially demoralising early lead, Michael Chopra’s cracking goal just before half time and Daryl Murphy’s injury time winner.

We did it without the defensive strength of Jonny Evans and Phil Bardsley … and despite the terrifying presence of Steve Bennett as referee.

Salut! Sunderland has avoided pinning blame for the team’s shortcomings on bad decisions by match officials. But it is not even open to doubt that these have cost us several points this season, and Bennett’s last visit to the Stadium of Light produced the worst of them – the spectacularly wrong denial of Kenwyne Jones’s last second “goal” against Aston Villa.

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Don’t we all remember a time when we simply didn’t care about Middlesbrough? Play Newcastle and the sheer passion of the fans would rub off on our players, instilling in them a do-or-die spirit that would be apparent whatever the result. Boro? Just another little club, geographically close but no real threat and not really worth considering arch-rivals.
So look what happened. Our players play like kittens at St James’ Park, Boro roll over to Bolton and suddenly we desperately need to care about, and beat, the Smogmonsters to make as sure as we can that nothing goes catastrophically wrong at the fag-end of an up-down-down-down-up-down season.
Mick Sheehan* is a close friend. He makes boots. He supports Boro. So here is our friendly Boro Boot Boy’s assessment of a vital game and our two clubs

At the start of the season I was very positive. I thought we had a good chance of qualifying for Europe. I thought Sunderland might struggle, while Newcastle with Sam Allardyce looked like they might go all the way.

By December it all looked a bit grim. However, at least Newcastle and Big Sam were in melt down so there was some Christmas comfort in that.

The last game I saw at the Stadium of Light was 2004/5 (I think) ….. I’d got a lift up to the game with some Sunderland fans…. Gianluca Festa scored with a glancing header in the first half, Jimmy ‘the hitman’ Hasslebank in the second half …. and I had to get a taxi home…… The half time entertainment was provided by Sunderland fans fighting each other in the West stand – definitely a great game. Well it was if you were a Boro fan.

There’s something strange going on with Keano and Southgate. At the start of the season Keano was without question a believer in gonad-crushing as a motivational technique ….. now he’s gone almost Buddhist like …. ethereal …. has he started drinking camomile tea instead of rotweiller’s blood????

Gareth on the other hand was more of a New Age man relying on incense burners, a nylon string guitar and singing Kum by Yah to sort things out at half time ….. now he’s actually criticising referees …. whatever next? Will we see Keano in orange robes levitating during games? or Gareth physically assaulting Rob Styles for which he gets a three month suspended sentence …. increased to four months on appeal?

Sunderland played well in the second half against Newcastle but never really threatened to score – apart from Kenwyne Jones’s header. You’re also missing Evans & Bardsley who have been key players at the back.

I think we’ll win the game on Saturday. We have been playing really well since the Cardiff defeat, which still hurts. However last Saturday against Bolton we were poor, but we have a habit of bouncing back ….

Prediction: two-nil to the Boro …. scorers Alliadiere & Tuncay. Sunderland fans chanting Buddhist mantras at half time and Keano having an “out of body experience”. By the way, does anyone know what he has been smoking? I’d like to try some of it.

And now for your questions………..

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Pete Sixsmith tells it how it is. It is not pretty, but it is heartfelt. And it needed saying

It wasn’t until nine o’clock on Sunday night that I was fully able to articulate my feelings about that afternoon’s disaster. I had kept my head in post match analysis with a friend who has greater things on her mind than a football result, but when I spoke to Peter Horan on the phone all the anger and frustration came out.

He sat and listened patiently while I launched into a series of expletives that would have done Chubby Brown and Richard Nixon proud.

The gist of it was that were useless, spineless and, deservedly, pointless.

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Something got up Pete Sixsmith‘s nose when he read Alan Sims’s offering in Who Are They? Was it the confession that Mags found it hard to help a charity if it had the least Sunderland connection? Or the behaviour of NUFC neanderthals who stayed behind to shout idiotic abuse at young players sent out by Keano to train after the derby game at the SoL this season? Salut! Sunderland suspects it had more to with Alan keeping a straight face as he claimed Bar Codes were above tribal rivalry

Having read the views of one Alan Sims it’s amazing how a bunch of hybrids can even string two sentences together let alone have the gall to criticise a perfect football team playing in a perfect football stadium situated in a perfect town.

I won’t try to equal the bile and bitterness of a supporter of a club so clearly inferior to our own beloved Red and Whites – I could surpass it in spades if I wanted to – so let’s have a look at how the rivalry has intensified over the last 45 years.

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The sort of goal every striker dreams of scoring. SuperKev scored it, against Newcastle in the rain as we swept to the first of those memorable 2-1 wins at St James’ Park. But Alan Sims will tell you it was a lucky shot, that only the wet stopped the Mags securing a well deserved victory. Even a visitor from Mars will have gathered by now that Alan is a Mag. the first part of his extraordinarily long homage to Kevin Keegan’s circus appeared in Who are you? We’re N*w*a*t*e (1). These are his answers to Salut! Sunderland‘s questions. He threatens to write a zillion more words if NUFC win on Sunday

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Newcastle fans, let it be said once and once only, stretch from the sublime (Rachel Unthank) to the ridiculous (led by Tony Blair and Mike Ashley but in truth too numerous, or even Toon umerous, to mention). The jury is out on where Alan Sims* fits in the spectrum. The Alan I remember was a young reporter in Bishop Auckland with a weakness for payday beer, pinball machines and dreadful, Marmalade-style pop music. I overlooked the fact that he was a Mag in those days because I thought his allegiance might reflect a mental condition best not talked about, and he seemed otherwise a harmless enough character. He’s also gone on to greater things so probably wasn’t mad after all. Just misguided. But who better to invite to preview this Sunday’s big game from the “other end”? He did so at such great length that I have belatedly decided to split his epic. which may be published eventually as Wor & P*ss, into two parts. See his answers to Salut! Sunderland’s questions at Who are you? We’re N*w*a*t*e (2)

I was born a Newcastle United supporter. There was no element of choice.

My home town of Birtley is divided between Magpies and Mackems and there is no sitting on the fence. You know who you are and you know the enemy.

Apparently when I was a kid just learning to talk I used to get a ball and instead of asking to play football would ask my dad: “Can we play Jackie Milburns.” That’s how entrenched it was – and thank God for that!

The thought that but for a quirk of birth I could so easily have been aSunderland fan sends a shiver through me, just as sight of the Stadium of (Sh) Light does now. Whenever I drive past I feel the sort of tremor that
peasants in Hammer horror movies show when they glance up at Dracula’s Castle. I can hear the distant howl of a wolf, see dark clouds scudding over the sky, sense the faint flicker of bats’ wings on the battlements.

At least that’s how I felt until earlier this year when I joined the great and glorious Toon Army to march onto Mackem territory for the derby match.

I was one of a few thousand warriors who dared to venture across the A19 in a convoy of 50 coaches. I felt like a commando going on a glorious mission, one where failure was unthinkable.

The day started particularly well when we gathered at Shearer’s Bar (tribute to a living legend) at St James’ on the cold, wet morning of the game – only to see Mike Ashley, big belly pushing his black and white shirt forward, and Christ Mort, in usual suit, standing at a table with a pint of lager each. Then we clambered on our buses ready for battle.

A bobby came on board and read us the Riot Act. “The hordes are gathering,
they have banners proclaiming ‘Welcome to Hell’ slung across walkways over
the road. Do not react. Do not get violent. Do not even leave the bus until
we tell you to or you WILL be locked up. We want this to be a good day …
now go and STUFF’EM lads’.”

Policing at its best!

So we headed off with helicopters juddering above, with motorbikes and police vans ahead, behind and alongside. We were waved off through the friendly streets of Newcastle and Gateshead by office girls, pedestrians, grannies and kids, and with Good Luck posters in windows. The deeper we moved into enemy territory the more the animosity grew. Groups on overhead walkways, where we expected bricks to be hurled. They weren’t, but plenty of insults and hand gestures came our way.

At the ground we were shepherded and corraled, with horseback guards, overhead copters, loud hailers keeping us in check, and the general feeling that a sniper’s bullet waited around the corner. Then we were milling towards the Stadium. Up close it looked nothing like Drac’s Castle and I relaxed. Insults flew but little else. As Brendan Behan would have said: “Compliments pass when the quality meet.”

Inside the ground the Mackems opened one hatch with one beer pump to service 2,500 of us. I got right to the bar, within touching distance of a cool beer, then had to abandon it and run for my seat. First blood to
Sunderland.

Suffice to say a draw saved our flagging spirits in a game Sunderland should have won. But we had the final laugh when Keane sent out some lads to run round the pitch afterwards, while we were still penned in an
otherwise empty stadium, and we at least had the pleasure of torturing and tormenting them from the terraces. “You’re shite and you know you are”, along with other intellectually-stimulating comments.

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In Abu Dhabi, the match fell off the edge of the Showtime Sports channels and appeared on Showtime Comedy. It gave me few laughs. Pete Sixsmith could easily have blamed Mike Riley’s extremely harsh penalty award – TV replays cannot seem to decide if there was contact at all – or indeed his predictable failure to see Kenwyne’s shirt being pulled halfway off his back – in the penalty box of course- in the first half. But he identifies other reasons for the unamusing setback in our quest for survival

At my age and with my experience of watching Sunderland, I should have grown wary of making predictions. The feeling after the Fulham game was that we were safe in the comfort zone. After a dispiriting defeat on Saturday, we could well end up in the Twilight zone.

What made Saturday such a disappointment was the fact that if we had shown the concentration and passion of the previous three games we would have blown Manchester City away. That we didn’t causes unnecessary worries after the other results lead to us looking over our shoulders to see if the likes of Bolton, Fulham and Reading could catch us.

I have done a trawl of the remaining fixtures and I am sure that one more win will guarantee safety but more performances like the one against City could well lead to us doing a Sheffield United come May 11.

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Here are a few more photos from Jeff Scott’s Banter & Bustle, the book mentioned in recent postings and copies of which he will be signing at Waterstones in the Bridges, and outside the ground, before the game against Man City on Saturday. Click on each image to enlarge.

The Roker Pie Shop commands its own crusty corner in the chart of anyone old enough to remember the walk to Roker Park.

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