Hutch’s Patch: some grumpy Sunderland ratings from Swansea

Jake: 'normal service is resumed'
Jake: ‘normal service is resumed’

Rob Hutchison dictated his one-word ratings to his daughter Olivia as they returned, subdued, from south-west Wales. ‘He’s rather grumpy,’ she reports. Both worried the poor performanced represented a ‘return to type’ – but both heartily praised supporters of both sides for the Bradley Lowery chant on five minutes: ‘brought tears to my eyes,’ though it’s not clear if those eyes were Rob’s, Olivia’s or from both …

As for the players, only Pickford and Papy picked up decent marks from Rob.

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Hutch’s Patch: post-Arsenal joy in The Land of the Rising Sunderland

Rob: 'what's Ha'way the Lads in Japanese?'
Rob: ‘what’s Ha’way the Lads in Japanese?’

Monsieur Salut writes:
is there anything wrong with milking this for all it;s worth? There is not. Even Hull, Mag, Leicester, Boro friends/family have been on to congratulate me as if I’d done Dick’s job for him.

Rob Hutchison, it will be remembered, supplied all those punchy one-word ratings until he scarpered off on holiday to Japan, under a wifely thumb rather than fearful of sticking around for the climax to the season. He woke up to some welcome news …

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Hutch’s Patch: how SAFC fared at Tottenham, in one word apiece

Jake: Rob's a man of few words
Jake: Rob’s a man of few words

Rob Hutchison declares:‘3-5-2 delivers the same result. Sort the system out and it sorts the season out.’ Then he delivers his one-word verdicts on the Lads, proving himself a much kinder judge of Danny Graham than was Keir Bradwell but using the same adjective for three of what would usually have been the back four and a slightly harsher one for the fourth. Rob omitted Will Buckley so M Salut has guessed at that one …

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Hutch’s Patch: the weak and tepid, strong and tigerish at Aston Villa

Rob: sometimes a man of few words
Rob: sometimes a man of few words

First let M Salut, just back from a few days in France, salute deputy editor Malcolm Dawson and associate editor John McCormick, nobly assisted by Pete Sixsmith and Jake, for manfully keeping the ship of Salut! Sunderland afloat over Christmas. I wish I could now salute a couple of superb post-derby performances lifting us to heady mid-table heights. A glance at Rob Hutchison‘s one-word verdicts on the Sunderland players on duty at Villa Park rightly suggests a strong enough defensive display and very little else to shout about …

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Hutch’s Patch: grim one-word ratings after Manchester City walloping

Jake: all fours and fives except for Catts
Jake: all fours and fives except for Catts

Rob Hutchison is a glass half-full kind of man. But he struggled to find much reason to applaud what he saw from the Sunderland side’s uneven contest with the aristos of Man City. Lee Cattermole got closest to a good rating but even his 6/10 reflects a display way short of what he’d produced against Chelsea …

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Hutch’s Patch: Sunderland ratings vs Leicester. Guess who got 10/10

Jake: 'opinions - everyone has 'em'
Jake: ‘opinions – everyone has ’em’

So a Leicester-supporting pal says his lot were the better side but adds that it’s difficult to tell which of the two will go down. M Salut thought aloud at ESPN – – neither side could grumble at the outcome. Here, with young Keir Bradwell absent on family duties, is what the older Rob Hutchison made of it, one word for each player, plus a tweet I couldn’t resist repeating about the Fletcher yellow card …

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Hutch’s Patch: a word apiece to sum up the Lads vs Everton

Rob: sometimes a man of few words
Rob: sometimes a man of few words

No two people will ever agree on all of the talking points from Sunderland vs Everton.

What we can say for certain is:

* post-Osman, no lectures are permitted from any Everton manager, player or supporter on penalties wrongly given or denied

* if we accept Howard did not handle the ball, there is at least an argument that says he obstructed play and should have conceded an indirect free kick in a highly dangerous position

* Sunderland played well and thoroughly deserved the point

* Howard risks being arrested as a wannabe jihadist until he shaves off that preposterous beard

Rob Hutchison
now offers a useful counter-balance to Keir Bradwell’s man-by-man Sunderland ratings, and he does it – as is his style – with a single word for each player …

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