In Rob Hutchison‘s latest set of one-word verdicts, after the 2-0 defeat at Old Trafford, he deviates from custom and practice. Instead of a single word and mark per player, he offers a 13-word sentence (14 if you include FFS), presented as – you guessed – one word per player. Plus the mark, a depressing mix of 4s and 5s. Their star? Januzaj surely … Roger East? Off to the Northern League . . .
Things are going from bad to verse. Rob Hutchison resorts to poetry before awarding his one-word verdicts …
Another game, another draw.
Why on earth, just can’t we score ?
We are so weak in front of goal.
We’re almost in a great big hole.
Prepare for more pain. The beatings will continue until morale improves. After a night when Sunderland collectively expressed a Premier status death wish or – if you prefer – gave a new definition to the notion of ‘cruel and unusual punishment’, we have the customary sets of player ratings. First up is Rob Hutchison, with his quirky one-worders and marks averaging 5 out of 10 for the starting line-up. Keir Bradwell’s wordier condemnation is at https://safc.blog/2015/02/masochism-2-sunderlands-player-ratings-vs-qpr-worse-than-norwich-away/ …
Rob Hutchison is first this week to give us his player ratings.When I say players, I don’t just mean the fourteen on the pitch. Read on:
Rob Hutchison, our man of single word player assessments took a trip to the north bank of the Thames last …
No Pete Sixsmith at White Hart Lane. The early starts for the Durham branch bus, the cost of a pint in London and the limited prospects of seeing Sunderland raise their game have done for him and trips to most matches in the capital. Monsieur Salut – ticket for WHL burning a hole in his wallet after work intervened – has learned not to count on the excellent but lesser spotted Bob Chapman, which almost certainly means we’ll see a report from him, too, this time. A place awaits you, Bob! Step forward our one-word ratings man Rob Hutchison, who worried about the 3-5-2 system, feared the worst as Spurs gobbled up possession and peppered our goal with efforts and ended up disappointed we hadn’t taken gilt-edged chances that nevertheless came our way. But he’s happy with Jermain Defoe’s arrival…
Rob Hutchison declares:‘3-5-2 delivers the same result. Sort the system out and it sorts the season out.’ Then he delivers his one-word verdicts on the Lads, proving himself a much kinder judge of Danny Graham than was Keir Bradwell but using the same adjective for three of what would usually have been the back four and a slightly harsher one for the fourth. Rob omitted Will Buckley so M Salut has guessed at that one …
Rob Hutchison says: No disgrace, and took the game to Citeh when we had to, but not enough in the tank ultimately. Never going to make or break our season.
The ink is barely dry on Pete Sixsmith‘s heartfelt adieu to Alan Pardew – https://safc.blog/2014/12/by-god-the-butlers-scarpered-fond-farewell-newcastles-monsieur-par-dieu/ – and now he comes along with some New Year’s resolutions. Almost simultaneously, Rob Hutchison – master of the one-word player ratings – offered with his succinct verdict on Sunderland’s 2014″ ‘Eventful,’ adding a few more words: ‘Can’t really remember a year like 2014 following the lads.’But now for Sixer’s will and won’t do pledges
First let M Salut, just back from a few days in France, salute deputy editor Malcolm Dawson and associate editor John McCormick, nobly assisted by Pete Sixsmith and Jake, for manfully keeping the ship of Salut! Sunderland afloat over Christmas. I wish I could now salute a couple of superb post-derby performances lifting us to heady mid-table heights. A glance at Rob Hutchison‘s one-word verdicts on the Sunderland players on duty at Villa Park rightly suggests a strong enough defensive display and very little else to shout about …